All content copyright © 2010-2024 Frank Revelo, www.frankrevelo.com
This document was written after several clumsy attempts to explain my tango dance style, in response to inquiries from followers as to why I dance so differently from other leaders. Because I don't follow myself, I originally wasn't even aware that I had drifted so far from conventional tango dance style taught in classes, and had begun "stepping to my own beat", so to speak, and dancing differently from everyone else. So writing this document was something of a process of self-discovery.
Strict tempo musicality, with respect to dancing, means stepping in strict synchrony to musical beats (possibly skipping some beats or possibly stepping on half beats as well as full beats). Rubato musicality means step timing drifts from beats, allowing dancers to more closely follow melody or higher rhythms of music. Leader has discretion in choosing exact step timing with rubato musicality, so artistry involved and possible to be either good or bad rubato musicality leader.
[In music, to play con tempo rubato, Italian for "with robbed time", means duration taken from one musical note or measure and given to another. For piano playing, where left hand creates beat while right hand plays higher rhythm or melody, strict tempo means right hand is strictly synchronized with left hand, whereas rubato means timing of right hand drifts from that of left hand. That is, right hand notes are sometimes played slightly before or after left hand notes. There are other meanings of musical rubato, but above is sufficient for current discussion.]
Rubato musicality allows for converting more of music to movement than just fundamental beat, and for focusing more on complexity in time (step timing, acceleration and thus force, change of force) than complexity in space (step direction, distance). For example, if bandoneón or piano playing on beats 1-2.5-4 (332 timing), step to that rhythm rather than fundamental 1-2-3-4 beat. For voice/violin singing/playing legato (normal in tango, staccato is exception), then reflect melody in both timing of steps and changes of acceleration/deceleration (thus creating changing force against follower's body). Follower should feel her body being carried along in synchrony to waves of musical sound, which should create bodily pleasure in her.
Assumption here is that followers want to feel bodily pleasure from tactile sensations, both external tactile sensations due to embrace and changing pressure of leader's body against hers, and internal tactile sensations (proprioception, kinaesthesia) due to changing acceleration and position of her body in space. In fact, many followers are not seeking bodily pleasure, but rather mental pleasure from producing visual spectacle (for real or imagined audience) or mastery/exercise of dance skills. If leader focused on bodily pleasure while follower focused on producing visual spectacle for audience or mastery/exercise of dance skills, resulting dance likely to be unenjoyable for both partners. See "motives for tango dancing" section for more on this topic.
[As an aside, for leaders wanting to create maximum bodily pleasure in followers, key concept is connection: connection to partner, connection to music. Since quality connection only possible with compatible music and partner, only dance to music which you understand and which inspires you, and use cabeceo/mirada to ensure you and partner truly want to dance with one another. Use milonguero apilado embrace, which gives closest bodily connection between partners, and pay careful attention to details of embrace, such as left hand position and orientation, degree of pressure of right arm against woman's back, head pressure. Remember that hygiene, grooming and clothing can affect women's openness to intimate embrace, so make some effort to improve these external aspects of yourself. Rubato musicality gives closest connection to music. With strict tempo musicality, focus more on perfecting small repertoire of steps and on matching steps to music than on step complexity.]
[Note that most pleasurable dance of all would be two partners pressed closely against one another, including lips and pelvises, while swaying side to side to entirety of music, melody as well as rhythm, without any steps whatsoever. And indeed this is how intimate couples sometimes dance at popular music nightclubs, though never at tango music venues as far as I know. Adding steps to primitive grinding dance always reduces bodily pleasure, especially complex steps that break connection to partner or music.]
[Note also that bodily touch is what brings about sexual orgasm and that disorientation of the inner ear, which is the part of the body which senses acceleration/deceleration while dancing, can cause a person to collapse, go into spasms and vomit uncontrollably. Compare with the sense of vision, which can only cause strong bodily effects via artificial means, such as strobe lights. Stimulating the sense of vision by watching dancers, or imagining how our own dance appears, will never cause a strong bodily reaction, no matter how spectacular the dance. Our goal in dancing is presumably not to bring about bodily paroxysms, whether of the pleasurable or painful variety, but we might want to create powerful bodily feelings. If so, touch and inner ear are the senses to focus on, rather than vision. Hearing and smell can also cause powerful feelings, however what we hear while dancing is determined by the milonga organizer, rather than the dancers, and tastes differ so much with respect to smell that we should probably not try to strongly affect our partner via that sense.]
Because steps not always on beat with rubato musicality but rather step timing depends on exactly which part of music leader converts to movement and how he converts, synchronization of partners typically requires constant apilado embrace and parallel walking system, implying that only basic walking steps possible and that follower mostly "shadows" leader (other than when walking outside or turning) meaning timing and speed of follower's steps same as for leader, except reversed direction. Elimination of non-shadow steps compensated for by complexity of step timing, so dancing with rubato musicality should not feel boring, provided follower can appreciate leader's rubato conversion of music to movement. As previously noted, there is artistry involved in this conversion and artistic tastes differ, so follower failure to enjoy leader's rubato musicality does not necessarily imply that either she or leader is incompetent.
[Stage dancers convert music to movement with complexity in both time and space simultaneously, especially in dramatic interpretations of modern tango music like that of Astor Piazzolla. Complexity in both time and space normally requires choreographing, meaning advance agreement as to movements followed by practicing what was agreed upon. Complexity in both time and space difficult with non-choreographed social dancing.]
I don't dance tango with men myself, so I can't directly estimate how many men dance with what I call rubato musicality. Based on comments by women partners, I am not the only man to dance the way I do, however my style of dance is not that common. One reason is that dancing with rubato musicality necessarily uses simple steps and thus can never be visually impressive, however many leaders want to produce a visually impressive dance, either for their own satisfaction or because followers refuse to dance with any but visually impressive leaders. Another reason is requirement for apilado embrace, which many followers, especially beginners, find too intimate. Another reason is that rubato musicality is not simple, and musicality is notoriously difficult to teach and learn. Typically, musicality develops gradually and naturally from simply listening and dancing to tango music. Beginning leaders cannot learn and practice dancing with rubato musicality in slow motion because this would distort musical timing, which is essence of rubato musicality, plus dancing with rubato musicality only works when done well ("all or nothing"). So beginners learn to dance with strict tempo musicality, which can be demonstrated and practiced in slow motion and which is more tolerant of low skill levels. Later, when these leaders have enough experience to experiment with rubato musicality, they are reluctant to do so because that would mean abandoning strict tempo musicality skills they have mastered and starting all over again with a completely different style of dancing. Another reason is that dancing with rubato musicality only works with followers who can appreciate this musicality, and many cannot and hence will feel bored and confused. Another reason is that many followers insist on dancing with strict tempo musicality ("chasing beats") even when leader is dancing with rubato musicality. Partners lose synchronization and dance is ruined completely. Another reason is that many followers hate to do things differently from everyone else, so even if follower experiences pleasure while dancing with rubato musicality, she will conclude dance was bad and leader incompetent because off beat and no complex steps.
My experience is that typically less than 40% of followers are able to follow me with regular tango music when I lead with rubato musicality, and only some of those clearly enjoy it (majority are visibly bored and sometimes even openly complain about lack of ochos), so maybe 10% unqualified successes. Success rate higher with older and very experienced Argentine women, because of their deep familiarity with tango music and less concern about dancing like everyone else. Success rate also much higher for all women with tango vals than regular tango, because of rhythmic simplicity of tango vals. With tall thin followers, whose movements are especially easy to control, success in tango vals approaches 100%. (I typically sit out milonga tandas because music fails to inspire me, however I suspect most followers would be confused by step timing I prefer and naturally use with milonga, which is complex even with strict tempo musicality and especially complex when I add rubato.) Lack of followers able to follow and enjoy rubato musicality implies that even leaders who prefer rubato musicality should also be able to dance with strict tempo musicality. Also possible to alternate between rubato and strict tempo musicality, in case follower enjoys both. Alternative view is leader should only dance style he truly enjoys, because only then can he dance with enthusiasm, which is required for good dancing, even if this limits partner availability.
In my actual practice of social tango dancing, I seldom directly use theory discussed in this document, but instead mostly "feel my way" to what works and what doesn't, then use theory to understand what I am doing, especially mistakes, so as to be more consistent in the future. Perhaps other leaders frustrated by limitations of strict tempo musicality and attracted to rubato musicality will find this document useful. More likely, they will first have to independently develop their own personal rubato musicality style, and only then will my theoretical discussion make sense.
Apilado embrace (sometimes called "milonguero embrace") is required for dancing with rubato musicality: both leader and follower stand up straight, lift chest, lean forwards from ankles until torsos touch. If similar height, then connection at bottoms of ribcages, otherwise common for follower's ribcage to touch leader's abdomen.
Note that apilado embrace is a walking embrace. Apilado embracing while stationary is trivially easy. Maintaining apilado embrace while walking gracefully is not so easy. For starters, both partners must put their weight on the same leg before leader makes his first step forwards or to side, otherwise leader will kick follower's shin or cause her to stumble. And there is much more to mastering walking apilado embrace.
Square-shape apilado embrace has leader and follower facing each other directly with follower positioned slightly to leader's right and looking over leader's shoulder (assuming she is similar height or taller, otherwise she can turn her head and rest against his chest).
V-shape apilado embrace has follower twisted at waist and facing towards leader's head rather than over his shoulder, bringing mouths close together.
In my opinion, square-shaped apilado is more suitable for social dancing than V-shaped. Mouth closeness in V-shaped embrace might be too intimate for some dancers, so mutually acceptable decision has to be made whenever encountering new partner (should we use square-shaped or V-shaped embrace?) which adds to difficulty of adapting to new partner. Simpler to just assume square-shaped. If V-shaped initially chosen, but one of partners has bad breath, then other partner might want to switch to square-shaped after first song of tanda, which would be embarrassing. V-shaped is also slightly more tiring for follower than square-shaped, because of need to twist at waist.
There is sometimes head contact in both variants of apilado embrace, however this is not necessary. Excessive pressure at point of head contact should be avoided.
Doesn't matter how much pressure between leader and follower torsos, as long as pressure constant. Follower creates pressure by leaning into leader, while still supporting her own weight. Leader supports her, which causes him to also lean forwards slightly. If pressure not constant, leader may grip follower tightly so as to force constant pressure. Rather than complaining about leader's "death grip", follower should focus on leaning with constant pressure against leader, which will normally cause leader to relax his grip automatically, since tight grip is hard work. (Maintaining constant pressure against leader in case of apilado embrace, or constant distance from leader in case of separated embrace, is hardest part about follower role.)
("Volcado" apilado embrace has partners leaning forwards until they begin to tip over and so must be supported by other partner leaning forwards. This embrace allows for some fancy moves but is uncomfortable unless back muscles are highly developed. Neither volcado apilado embrace nor volcado step, which is temporary strong forwards lean of follower against leader, will be discussed further in this document.)
Apilado embrace works best if follower similar in height to leader, assuming she is wearing heels and he is not. Slightly shorter also works well, since leader can bend knees slightly and follower can rise on toes slightly to equalize heights. If follower much shorter, then leader typically needs to use his stomach rather than his mid-torso to make connection. Natural pot bellies facilitate stomach connections. Leaders like me who lack a natural pot belly can create an artificial pot belly by inhaling and tensing muscles to push out abdomen. If follower much taller than leader, then upper part of leader's ribcage connects to bottom of follower's ribcage, which gives good connection. Much taller follower may block leader's forward view, however leader can compensate by moving sideways down line of dance rather than straight ahead.
Both leader and follower should close feet whenever possible, in order to look elegant. Leader cannot lead closing of follower's feet: she must do it herself. It is acceptable and common, for leader to initiate new step before follower completes her close.
Common apilado embrace errors:
1) Leaning backwards. Possibly follower not experienced with forwards leaning posture used in tango to walk backwards, which follower absolutely must master, regardless of whether apilado or other embrace, regardless of whether rubato or strict tempo musicality. Possibly follower doesn't want to get near leader: she should not have accepted his invitation. Possibly leader or follower is pushing pelvis forward so as to "grind" against partner: inappropriate behavior at milonga. Possibly leader is much taller than follower and so leans his head and shoulder girdle forwards to reach follower, causing her to lean back in compensation: much shorter follower should either rest side of her head against leader's chest while connecting to his natural or artificial pot belly, or leader and follower simply avoid partners with big height mismatches.
2) Standing vertical rather than leaning forwards. Vertical posture okay for separated embrace, but not apilado, because cannot generate pressure between torsos and simultaneously keep feet apart. If feet not apart and using square-shape apilado embrace, leader will either kick follower in shin or else step with his right leg between her legs. Leader's right leg between follower's legs is correct for ballroom dancing, but with Argentine tango it looks and feels inelegant.
3) Follower sticks out buttocks by bending at waist. Some followers bend at waist to accommodate leaders standing vertical rather than leaning forwards. Other incorrectly try to imitate appearance of expert followers, who are actually bending lower back rather than at waist. Average followers lack back flexibility and core strength to bend lower back like these expert followers. Bending at waist will eventually cause backache unless muscles highly trained plus it creates bad body alignment that will interfere with pivots.
4) Pressure between torsos not constant. Usually follower's fault. Causes follower to lag leader slightly, so that she bangs against him every time he changes direction. Choppy rather than smooth following.
5) Tension in arms, which is necessary for separated embrace but unnecessary and distracting in apilado.
6) Follower's hips unstable, so side-to-side motion as with salsa or hula dancing, or whole body limp or other break in connection between torso and feet, such that leader cannot control follower's feet by controlling her torso. Follower will not feel music through leader, so dancing will be boring to her, and she will be unable to follow precisely and hence will look and feel clumsy.
7) Follower hanging on leader. That is, pulling down rather than pushing directly forwards with ribcage.
8) Leader's right arm against follower's lower rather than upper back, which will eventually cause follower's back to bend excessively and thus cause backache.
9) Leader's right arm raised into follower's left armpit or his right hand reaching around into her right armpit. Leader should lower right arm enough to avoid touching follower armpit on either side, without lowering too far (see previous point). Ideally, crook of leader's right elbow should be snug against follower's ribcage, however slight gap between arm and ribcage is also acceptable and perhaps preferred by some followers.
10) If leader has long arms and follower has slender torso, then leader may need to make a fist to avoid having fingers reach around and touch follower's breasts, which is much too intimate for social dancing. Another option is for leader to leave big gap between crook of his right elbow and follower and then put his palm in the middle of her back (contrary to recommendation of snugness in previous point).
11) Leader's left hand position uncomfortable for follower, especially leader's left hand pushed forward into follower's space. Ideally, leader's left elbow and left palm should both be approximately in line with leader's hips, and leader's left palm should point towards his face at approximately his neck height. Follower can place her right hand however she prefers, including very lightly touching leader's palm with fingertips, as subtle reminder to both partners to avoid arm tension.
12) Leader or follower squeezing partner's fingers or pressing thumb or fingers against back of partner's hand.
Apilado embrace is not a recent innovation, contrary to what some internet commentators write. In the 1990's, when regularly attending milongas in San Francisco, I frequently danced with women born and raised in Buenos Aires and old enough to have grown up during the tango golden age. Almost always these women spontaneously entered apilado embrace without me suggesting it in any way.
In discussion below, terms rubato and polyrhythm used interchangeably. This is because polyrhythm can be clearly defined, counted while dancing, and practiced, whereas rubato, by its very nature, is imprecise. It is therefore typically easier for beginners to first switch from strict tempo to polyrhythm step timing, then possibly apply rubato to the polyrhythm, than to switch directly from strict tempo to rubato step timing. Keep in mind that ultimate goal is dancing more closely to music, especially melody, which increases dance enjoyment in those with strong musical sensibility. Polyrhythm and rubato musicality are means of reaching this goal, not goals in themselves.
For tango, most common rubato musicality step pattern consists of 3 or 5 more or less evenly spaced steps per 4 or 8 beats (3:4 and 5:8 polyrhythms, respectively), with step 1 on beat 1 and other steps off beat. Quick-quick-slow dancing, with 2 quick (1 beat) steps followed by 1 slow (2 beat) step, is not rubato musicality, since all 3 steps on beat. When melody stops but rhythm continues, dance on beat. Sometimes dance on beat even with melody playing. Underlying rhythm of tango is 4 regular beats per measure: masculine marching music. Rubato musicality softens this masculine quality of tango.
If tango beat slow, dance 7 steps per 8 beats (7:8 polyrhythm), which might feel like alternating between 3 and 4 steps per measure. Similarly, 5:8 polyrhythm often feels like alternating between 3 and 2 steps per measure. As with strict tempo musicality, can occasionally pause and thus dance 1 or 0 steps per measure.
Di Sarli Anselmo Acuña el resero, 1943 and Pugliese La yumba, 1946 are examples of tangos with strongly audible 3:4 polyrhythm within music itself. D'Arienzo Yuyo brujo, 1949 is example of tango where mix of 5, 6 and 7 steps/phrase works well. Donato Sinfonía de arrabal, 1940 works well with mix of 3 steps/measure and 7 steps/phrase. With Di Sarli El jagüel, 1956 occasional 9 steps/phrase, alternating with slower step patterns elsewhere, works well. Note that "works well" should really be read as "Pleases me, Frank Revelo, author of this document". As noted previously, rubato musicality involves artistry and artistic tastes can differ.
For Biagi tangos, dancing 5:8 polyrhythm usually works well, despite strong contrast with beat. It took me some time to figure out how to dance Biagi tangos in a way that satisfies my musical sensibility. (His milongas and valses never gave me difficulty.) My dance interpretation of Biagi was helped by listening carefully to his solo piano piece Cruz Diablo, 1927, his own composition and his first recording, which is never played at milongas. Another interesting example of early Biagi is alternate version of Gardel's recording of Lo han visto con otra, 1930 (skip to 2:39 of video), also never played at milongas.
Rubato musicality does not work well when music lacks strong beat, such as sections of many late 1950's Pugliese recordings, because dance is boring without contrast between beat and complex rubato musicality step timing. What I sometimes do is lead one or more closed side forward ochos until strong beat resumes.
Exact 3:4 polyrhythm is approximately beats 1 2.33 3.67, which is close to beats 1 2.5 4 of 332 rhythm, exact 5:8 polyrhythm is beats 1 2.6 4.2 1.8 3.4, which is close to beats 1 2.5 4 2 3.5 of 33433 rhythm, and exact 7:8 polyrhythm is approximately beats 1 2.14 3.29 4.43 1.57 2.71 3.86, which is close to beats 1 2 3.5 4.5 1.5 2.5 4 of 2322232 rhythm. (9:8 polyrhythm is typically used to align with legato violin or voice, so no associated rhythm.) So if piano or bandoneón playing 332, 33433 or 2322232 rhythms, and those instruments are dominant, then dancers who first dance 3:4, 5:8, or 7:8 polyrhythm, then apply rubato to polyrhythm, will naturally align with music. It is also much easier to practice dancing to 3:4, 5:8 or 7:8 polyrhythms, while counting 1234 or 12345678 aloud without music, than practice dancing to 332, 33433 or 2322232 rhythms.
Tango vals has 4 "oom-pah-pah" measures per phrase, where "oom" is stressed beat and "pah" is weak beat, so 4 stressed beats per phrase. Dancers only count stressed beats, and number them as 1234. Strict tempo musicality pattern of 5 steps per phrase on beats 1 1.5 2 3 4 ("quick, quick, slow, slow, slow") can be slightly modified to produce polyrhythm pattern of 5 evenly spaced steps per phrase, which can then be further refined by applying rubato to these 5 steps. For slower vals, try 6 evenly spaced steps in 4 beats (steps 1 and 4 on beats 1 and 3 respectively, remaining steps off-beat). Difference between strict tempo and rubato step patterns is small but has powerful effect on feel of dance. Simplicity of vals rhythm makes it ideal starting point for leaders new to rubato musicality. Vals also useful for testing follower ability to dance with rubato musicality. Unfortunately, my experience is that followers sometimes dance rubato musicality vals perfectly but then stumble terribly with rubato musicality tango, so test isn't fully reliable.
Di Sarli Alma mía, 1940 and Troilo Soñar y nada más, 1943 are examples of vals where mix of 5 and 6 steps/phrase works well.
Milonga inherently has irregular 3122 rhythm (counting half beats), so stressed beats counted "1 uh uh 2 3 uh 4 uh" (normal English or Spanish pronunciation of 4 syllable "San Francisco" has this same rhythm, whereas pronunciation of "Café con pan" is equivalent to "2 3 uh 4 uh 1 uh uh"), and thus doesn't gain as much from rubato musicality as tango and tango vals. Many strict tempo musicality dancers ignore milonga's irregularity and instead dance as if it had 4 evenly spaced beats, which robs milonga of its sensuality ("un ritmo desigual, tan sensual"). Much better is to alternate between following step patterns, where 1 2 3 4 indicate stressed beats: 2 steps on beats 1 3 (no irregularity in timing of these beats, so strict tempo musicality); 3 steps on beats 1 2 4; 4 steps on beats 1 2 3 4; 5 steps on beats 1 * 2 3 4 where * halfway between beats 1 and 2. Optionally, rubato can be applied to these step patterns.
Canaro Milonga sentimental, 1933 clearly illustrates milonga/habanera rhythm (as does Habanera aria from opera Carmen by Bizet) while Canaro Reliquias porteñas, 1938 is example of milonga where mix of 2, 3, 4 and 5 steps/measure works well.
Leader can discover best step timing to use with different songs by practice dancing alone, alternating between strict tempo and rubato musicality to feel what works best. Even better, dance alone in follower's role: eyes closed, walking backwards, pushed by music, similar to how real followers are pushed by leader. With rubato musicality dancing, whatever feels good to leader dancing alone should also feel good to follower. Compare with strict tempo musicality dancing, where complex steps feel different for leader and follower. Eventually, leader should be able to imagine himself dancing without actually moving his body, making it possible to practice while sitting or lying down and listening to music.
For tango, start with strict tempo musicality: 4 steps in 4 beats, 2 steps in 4 beats, 3 steps per 4 beats in quick-quick-slow pattern. Then try 3:4 (=6:8) polyrhythm: 3 equal length steps which together sum to 4 beats of musical time. Then experiment with 5:8, 7:8 and 9:8 polyrhythms. For vals, most important polyrhythms are 5:4 and 6:4 (5 or 6 steps in 4 stressed beats). After mastering polyrhythms, apply rubato to polyrhythm to match steps even more closely to music. (My own practice is opposite: start by dancing closely to music, then count steps and beats to determine what is happening. Beginning rubato musicality leaders probably can't do this.)
Trick for mastering polyrhythm step timimg: use audio brain (hearing) to count beats, use visual brain to count steps. (Or perhaps audio for left hand, visual for right hand, in case of pianists, drummers and other musicians.) My visualization is location of my footsteps on dance floor. Do not count beats with words. Instead, clap hands in strong-weak-medium-weak pattern or in milonga rhythm and use audio brain to recognize groups of 4 claps.
Following video demonstrates rhythms related to dancing tango with rubato musicality: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GJ4Rce8QEs0.
Leader should respect music: subtract musical elements that cannot be danced socially, but add nothing. Music should lead leader, then leader in turn leads follower.
If music leads leader and leader leads follower, then who leads musicians, including composer, arranger, bandleader, vocalist, instrumentalists, recording engineers, deejay? Answer: human body is both ultimate leader and ultimate follower. Good dancing is whatever feels good to body. Good dance music is encoding of good dancing. To produce good dance music, musicians must feel with their bodies what follower will ultimately feel in hers. Musicians convert imagined pleasurable bodily movement into sound, which leader converts into real bodily movement, giving both leader and follower bodily pleasure.
Follower should not try to decipher step pattern. Instead, she should focus on feeling how music reflected in leader's movements. Ideally, she should feel carried along by music, with leader acting as transmission mechanism. Leader becomes extension of loudspeakers, so to speak, except he only transmits parts of music, since impossible for human body to move fast enough to transmit all of music. Quality of leader's dancing determined by which parts of music he chooses to transmit and how well transmitted version matches original.
Erect, energized, graceful posture at all times: body straight, chest lifted, core slightly tensed to limit side-to-side hip motion, leaning slightly forwards from ankles. Demonstrate how forwards lean ensures forwards steps will always be shorter than backwards steps, so simplified single track walking acceptable. Backwards walk particularly important, since it will feel unnatural initially. Leaders can step either heel first (common among Argentinian men, wearing shoes with elevated heels) or on front of foot (my preferred way of tango walking, wearing shoes with non-elevated heels). Walk softly, without slamming feet against floor, regardless of whether stepping heel first or front of feet first. Students who cannot gracefully walk/dance alone to tango music certainly cannot dance well with partner.
Embrace can be: (a) square-shape apilado; (b) V-shape apilado; (c) separated, with indirect lead through arms. Beginners using apilado embrace may require temporary separation to allow forward ochos. Distance between dancers in separated embrace can be anywhere from zero to arm's length. Square-shape apilado embrace should be learned first, initially practicing with same sex partner. Rubato musicality dancers must use either square-shape or v-shape apilado embrace because of need to precisely synchronize step timing, which requires torso to torso contact. Step timing easier to synchronize with strict tempo musicality. Beginners favor separated embrace because it is more forgiving of bad posture, bad leading/following skills, limited waist flexibility in follower when doing ochos. Widely separated embrace also favored by dancers who dislike close bodily contact.
Experiment with various positions for leader's left hand, using partners of different heights. Reminders about bad hygiene and grooming, grip, arm position, head pressure, long hair on left side of follower, rough fabric textures, sharp buckles and other factors which can make for unpleasant close embrace. Compare reptiles or tropical fish covered with brightly colored scales, interesting to look at but cold and disgusting to touch or smell, versus rabbits covered with nondescript brown fur and hence nothing special to look at but warm and soft to touch and with pleasant scent.
Demonstrate complexity possible using apilado embrace and basic walking steps (aka shadow steps, because follower like shadow image of leader): change weight; directional steps (forward, backward, side, diagonal); rock; pivot; using rocks and pivots to perform complete turn; multiple forward steps in succession. Remind both leader and follower to close feet after each step.
Apilado embrace, basic walking steps (aka shadow steps) and rubato musicality is together enough to dance enjoyably to tango or other dance music. Dancers using open embrace or strict tempo musicality will need to add some additional non-shadow steps to give some variety to their dance: shake/zarandeo; cross; outside walking; outside walking to cross; forward ochos; forward ocho cortado; revolving forward ochos; backward ochos; giro; compact milonguero giro; etc.
To practice apilado embrace and torso lead, initially have leader embrace/hug follower closely with both arms while follower raises both hands in air and closes eyes, so that apilado torso connection is only way to receive lead. Beginners might try to connect torsos by bending forwards from waist rather than ankles: watch for and correct this common error. If leader much taller than follower, use natural or artificial pot belly connection. Practice dancing to music with dual arm embrace using basic walking steps, both moving along line of dance and dancing in place (approximately inside one square meter of floor space). After practicing with dual arm embrace, have leaders remove their left arm and followers put their right arm around leader's upper back, so that embrace is closed side only, and continue practice dancing. Next, have students connect arms on open side, so that embrace is now standard square-shaped apilado embrace, and continue practice dancing.
Exercise to demonstrate importance of constant torso pressure: leader and follower put palms together, leader moves his palm parallel to floor in various directions (forwards, backwards, sideways, diagonals) while follower tries to stay connected, preferably with her eyes closed. If maximum pressure, exercise is easy. If minimum pressure, exercise is very difficult. If follower careful to maintain constant gentle pressure against leader's palm and leader moves his palm smoothly rather than suddenly, exercise is moderate effort and gets easier with practice.
Same sex students of similar height should practice with one another, alternating roles every song. Same sex practicing avoids situations where women students might be reluctant to be closely embraced by certain men students, for various reasons. If women directly refuse men's embraces during classes, this creates awkwardness. If women allow embraces they don't enjoy, they may come to associate tango dancing with unpleasantness and give it up entirely, or they may develop bad habits for social interaction at milongas, where underlying rationale for cabeceo/mirada código is that every embrace/dance with opposite sex should be a wanted embrace/dance. Even if intimate couple taking classes together, so that preceding considerations about unwanted embraces don't apply, still better for man and woman to dance with other same sex students initially, so they get some experience with both leader and follower roles. Also, sometimes only way for men to be made aware of importance of good hygiene and grooming is to dance in close embrace with men with bad hygiene and grooming (body odor, bad breath, excess perfume/cologne, unwashed clothes, bad haircut, unkempt beard, nose and ear hairs, open cuts on face or hands, dirty or misshapen fingernails, etc). Ditto for awareness of importance of and what constitutes comfortable embrace. Women tend to more self-aware than men about hygiene and grooming but equally unaware regarding uncomfortable embraces, and so women also gain from dancing in close hold with a variety of other women, some of whom will likely have bad embraces.
Core instability common posture problem in beginner followers, which breaks connection between torso and feet, meaning leader cannot control follower's feet by controlling her torso. Leading feels like wrestling match, or like steering bicycle with loose handlebars. Demonstrate walking with exaggerated instability, so side to side motion of hips as with salsa or hula dancing, then compare with stable tango walk: "Walk like cat, not like cow".
Coordination of step timing only possible if follower gives control of her body to leader. Rebellious follower balks until she understands where she is being lead, only moves when she is ready, puts foot down when she wants, not when leader wants. Disregard for leader's step timing acceptable with strict tempo musicality, but absolutely unacceptable for rubato musicality. Cooperative follower trusts and obeys without thinking, so that she and leader move as harmonious unit.
Summary of requirements to follow rubato musicality leader: 1) Good posture; 2) Apilado embrace; 3) Give control of body to leader so that he can precisely control step timing. Additional follower requirements to enjoy rubato musicality: 4) Musical sensibility compatible with that of leader (note again that each leader may have his own version of rubato musicality, and musical tastes may differ); 5) Primary motives for dancing are bodily pleasure and connection to leader, versus mental pleasure from creating impressive visual performance for audience enjoyment or personal satisfaction.
Beginner awkwardness and lack of self confidence is acceptable in followers but not leaders. Even slight awkwardness or lack of self confidence in leader will be detected by follower and cause her to lose trust in leader, which will then likely cause her to balk at his lead, then leader will detect her mistrust, causing him to further lose self confidence, and so on in negative feedback loop. True self confidence comes from practice of repeatedly doing things correctly. Pretending to be confident without underlying mastery of skills manifests as brutality.
Metaphorically speaking, rubato musicality leader like violinist, follower like violin. Just as defective violin cannot produce good music, no matter how skilled the musician, likewise defective follower (bad posture, lack of apilado embrace, refusal to give control of body to leader) cannot produce good dancing, no matter how skilled the leader. To eyes of audience, little difference between great versus average violinists, whereas huge difference to ears. Likewise, spectators may see no difference between dancing led by great versus average rubato musicality leaders, whereas follower may experience great bodily pleasure with former and boredom with latter.
Musicality is necessary to lead well, follow well or even be competent spectator of tango dancing. Students should have listening library of at least 1000 songs (900 tangos, 50 milongas, 50 tango valses), representing all major orchestras of both Old Guard era and Golden Age (Biagi, Caló, Canaro, Carabelli, De Angelis, D'Agostino, D'Arienzo, De Angelis, De Caro, Demare, Di Sarli, Donato, Firpo, Fresedo, Laurenz, Lomuto, Maglio, Malerba, Pugliese, Rodríguez, Tanturi, Troilo, Típica Los Provincianos, Típica Victor), to which they should practice dancing alone, to develop dance musicality. Assuming songs average 3 minutes in length, listening to each song 20 times (including dancing alone at least once to each song) to each of 1000 songs would take about 1000 hours, or slightly less than 3 years at 1 hour of practice per day. Those with natural musical talent or previous musical training might require much less time to develop deep feel for tango music. Those with "bad ear" (which typically means psychological inhibitions rather than physiological ear or brain defect) might never develop deep feel for tango music. After enough practice with enough different tango music, leader should be able to skillfully lead and follower to follow with appreciation even to tango songs they have never listened to previously. (Free tango music MP3s available at https://www.eltangoysusinvitados.com, or use internet streaming service such as YouTube or Spotify.)
Close hold tango dancing only works well when both partners truly want to dance with one another, versus merely acquiescing to other person's desire. Understand and use cabeceo/mirada to make, solicit, accept and refuse invitations. Women need to become comfortable repeatedly refusing men's invitations, since women are doing no one a favor by dancing without enthusiasm. Men must become comfortable with repeated rejection. Men and women alike may have good but non-evident reasons for not inviting/accepting: tired, not in good mood, waiting for another partner, don't like music, etc. Women should avoid directly inviting men, since very few women can tolerate open rejection by men, and instead should use mirada to solicit invitations. Men who "mercy dance" with women are making the same mistake as women who mercy dance with men. Unenthusiastic dancing is usually bad dancing, and bad dancing is worse than not dancing at all: learn to enjoy sitting and listening to music!
Sexual feelings large part of appeal of tango dancing, both to young dancers, for whom prospect of finding sexual mate is part of appeal of tango dancing, as well as older dancers, who want to avoid complications of real sex with variety of short-term partners. On the other hand, sexual feelings aroused during tango dancing may present difficulties for dancers who are sexually inhibited or have other issues regarding relations to opposite sex. Sometimes dancers use tango dancing as therapy to overcome sexual issues. Instructors who can help with this process are providing valuable service to students, justifying high pay. Of course, instructor must be tactful in how they address sexual issues in students. Depending on nature of problem and student, same or opposite sex instructor better able to help. Highly advisable for students to initially dance with same sex partners, so issues with posture, embrace, steps and musicality can be addressed separately from issues with sexuality.
Motive for dance participants at milongas can be audience-focused, partner-focused, self-focused, or combination of the preceding. Motive for non-dancing attendees at milongas is typically entertainment and socializing.
Audience-focused tango dancers seek to produce spectacle for audience. Some audience-focused tango dancers are professionals who are paid for their performances, others are unpaid amateurs. Audience-focused motive is especially common among young women, who still harbor dreams of being famous ballerinas on stage, applauded by audience at conclusion of performance.
Self-focused tango dancers seek to master/exercise tango dancing skills as pure physical/mental challenge, without any desire to perform before audience or to intimately connect to partner. (All dancers are necessarily mostly self-focused while initially learning to dance. Discussion here concerns dancers who never evolve beyond self-focus.) Self-focused dancers sometimes take private lessons for years but never take group lessons or attend milongas. In my opinion, there is something not quite right about self-focus with a dance like tango, which is normally danced in close embrace with someone of the opposite sex, to music whose lyrics more often than not are about sexual love. In my opinion, tango dancing by oneself (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nu3E4WTN_kQ) would be more appropriate for those wanting a pure physical/mental dance challenge, or choose a dance style which is inherently solo, such as tap dancing.
Partner-focused tango dancers seek intimate connections to partners. Degree of intimacy of connection depends greatly on closeness of embrace. However, even with close milonguero apilado embrace, intimacy level is more that of conversation than sexual intercourse, though best analogy would be intimacy level of hug (of person of opposite sex), while dressed and moving to music, because that is what tango dancing in close embrace literally amounts to.
Note how odd-sounding is idea of stage performances or televised competitions regarding conversation, sexual intercourse or hugging, other than by professional or amateur stage entertainers/actors. On the other hand, it does make sense to speak of skill level regarding conversation and sexual intercourse, especially of active partner. However, skill level in these activities is often uncorrelated with years of experience or hours of instruction: some people are naturally good at conversation and sexual intercourse, other not so good. In any case, "good" is subjective judgement by partners of each activity: good conversation, sexual intercourse or hugging partner for me may be bad for you, and vice-versa. Finally, most people would consider it very rude to engage in conversation, sexual intercourse or hugging and focus more on producing spectacle for audience (presumably imaginary audience in case of sexual intercourse, though there are group sex orgies and swing parties where audience would be real), or on exercise of one's skills in those activities, than on connection to partner (again, excepting case of professional or amateur stage entertainers/actors).
Continuing with conversation metaphor, self-focused dancers are like foreign language learners who engage in conversation merely to practice their skills and hence often use vocabulary and grammar they don't quite understand, because they don't really care about genuine communication with their partner. Audience-focused dancers are like language learners trying to get high score on test, who use advanced vocabulary and grammar to impress judges, even when such complexity interferes with rather than aids communication, because they too don't really care about genuine communication with their partner. Partner-focused dancers are like language learners whose skills are adequate to speak and understand with ease, who only use vocabulary and grammar they have fully mastered, and who do want genuine communication with their partner. (Note that achieving "fluency" with regards to tango social dancing requires far less time and effort than foreign language conversational fluency.)
My preferred analogy for partner-focused tango social dancing is that it is like a group roller/ice skating party, where mixed sex pairs occasionally separate from the group and engage in conversation while skating at a leisurely pace. Obviously, to participate in such a party, some bodily skill is required, but level of required bodily skill is low, and bodily skill beyond basic level is less of a factor in enjoyment than personality compatibility between members of the group who form temporary mixed sex pairs. Analogy is somewhat misleading, in that very high bodily skill level, especially in apilado embrace, can overwhelm personality compatibility factor in determining enjoyment of tango social dancing. However, that high skill level is mostly concerned with details of embrace and musicality that will be invisible and impossible to explain to beginners. Analogy has advantage of discouraging usual beginner focus on complex steps, in favor of focus on mastering basic walking steps and on partner selection and embrace.
Partner-focused mate-evaluation is the motive of those who use tango dance connection to test compatibility for sexual intercourse connection, and who typically care less about dance skills than age, bodily appearance and other factors relevant to mating.
Partner-focused experience-seeking is the motive of dancers, especially young people, who lack enough experience to interact effectively with prospective mates, and so either present themselves as awkward and sexually unattractive to dance partners, or else are unable to competently judge sexual compatibility of dance partners. Social dancing can help overcome this lack of experience, especially dancing with partners who are not seen as prospective mates (huge age gaps, already married or in relationship, not sexually compatible), so that there is less performance anxiety.
Partner-focused bodily-contact is the motive of those who use tango dancing as surrogate (supplement or substitute) for sexual intercourse or other bodily connections (massage, hugging), and typically prefer repeated connections with reliably good partners. Some of these dancers are too old or sick or busy for sexual intercourse, others unable to find partner for sexual intercourse because higher standards for sexual intercourse partners than dance partners, others currently in monogamous sexual relationship and not willing to be non-monogamous but nevertheless desirous of quasi-sexual variety, others simply get as much or even more bodily pleasure from tango dancing as from sexual intercourse or other bodily connections involving sense of touch (massage, hugging).
Partner-focused curiosity-satisfying is the motive of those who are curious regarding inner nature of other people, and who may prefer quantity of dance connections over quality.
Dancers whose motive is mate-evaluation sometimes repeat beginner class over and over but never go to milongas, which is perfectly logical: such dancers sometimes don't like either tango music or tango dancing, hence would feel out of place at milongas; usually larger percentage of dancers of seeking mates at classes than at milongas; repeating class gives exposure to fresh group of potential mates (unless everyone repeats class). Advertising possibility of finding mate is excellent way for instructors to increase attendance at beginner classes.
Partner-focused dancers should treat each dance as if it were only opportunity to ever connect with partner. For dancers with curiosity-satisfying motive, who constantly seek out new partners, this may be literally true. For dancer with mate-evaluation or bodily-contact motive, future connections more likely if present connection good. Men following traditional tango etiquette should always forgive refusal of cabeceo (invitation), and women should always forgive refusal of mirada (solicitation of invitation), however bad dances may not be forgiven. Thus avoid dancing when not feeling in top form or otherwise unable to give 100%.
Dance instructors are special case of audience-focused motive when demonstrating before students, and special case of partner-focused motive when dancing with individual students and observing how student is leading/following. At milongas, instructors may be audience-focused so as to attract customers, though no reason they cannot additionally have partner-focused motives (mate-evaluation, experience-seeking, bodily-contact, curiosity-satisfying).
Dancers who are primarily partner-focused, with some admixture of audience-focused exhibitionism and/or self-focused exercise of hard-earned dance skills, are being true to social spirit of milonga, whereas dancers who are primarily audience or self-focused are not. In Buenos Aires, audience-focused dancers are disparaged by expression bailar para las mesas, which translates as "dance for the tables" (where spectators are seated), as opposed to bailar para su pareja, or "dance for your partner". Best way for partner-focused dancers to deal with audience or self-focused dancers is avoid dancing with them yourself and instead let other audience or self-focused dancers dance with them while you sit and watch.
Audience-focused and self-focused dancers often very enthusiastic about tango dancing for several years, then lose enthusiasm upon reaching high level of skill proficiency. Dancers most likely to persist are those whose motive for attending milongas is combination of partner-focused motive while dancing and entertainment and socializing motive while not dancing. Being able to enjoy milonga music and atmosphere without dancing is especially important for older women, who often despair at not getting enough invitations to dance. Note that, in addition to making it possible to enjoy milongas without dancing, deep appreciation of tango music greatly improves women's ability to dance with rubato style leaders.
Traditional gender roles: feminine seeks pleasure, masculine seeks power to generate pleasure. Musicians are masculine, music listeners are feminine. Excellence of musician measured by ability to generate pleasure in listener. Excellence of listener measured by ability to feel pleasure from music. Excellence of man as lover measured by ability to generate sexual pleasure in woman. Excellence of woman as lover measured by ability to feel sexual pleasure. Excellence of dance leader measured by ability to generate bodily pleasure in partner. Excellence of dance follower measured by ability to feel bodily pleasure while partner dancing. External appearance does not necessarily correlate with pleasure generated by musician, man lover, dance leader, or with pleasure felt by music listener, woman lover, dance follower.
Masculine actively creates form, feminine passively adapts to existing form, like water which takes shape of container. In the long run, water can erode container into new shape, and feminine in general can eventually control masculine using purely feminine methods. Listeners who consistently prefer certain musicians will ultimately cause musicians to accommodate their tastes, without explicitly instructing musicians or even thinking about what is good music. Attractive women who prefer certain types of sex and dancing will ultimately cause men to accommodate their tastes, without explicitly instructing men or even thinking about what is good sex or dancing. Feminine power acts by creating desire by masculine power to please and then moving towards whichever masculine power creates greatest pleasure and moving away from masculine power which causes pain (boredom, annoyance). Obviously, outside realm of sex and close embrace partner dancing (which is simulation of sexual intercourse), perfectly normal for biological women to act masculine. Similarly, biological men take on feminine role when listening to music. Loutish listeners with bad taste and unattractive women both lack feminine power, because unable to create desire to please in musicians/men.
Masculine skill outgoing, thus easy to evaluate and critique, allowing for learning via feedback. Listeners can critique musicians, sex instructor woman can critique sex student man, dance instructor follower can critique dance student leader. Feminine skill not outgoing, so difficult to evaluate or critique or improve via feedback. If music listener or woman lover or dance follower does not initially enjoy music, sex, or dancing, respectively, how can they learn to enjoy? Inability to feel sexual pleasure sometimes called frigidity.
In the past, when sexual intercourse outside marriage was tightly regulated in western society, especially for young women, social dancing had four functions: (1) test sexual compatibility prior to marriage; (2) teach young people HOW to test sexual compatibility and also train young people for marriage, by having inexperienced young people dance with older partners; (3) opportunity for older people to socialize; (4) advertise sexual attractiveness of prostitute to prospective clients. First three functions applied to "respectable" dance venues, last applied to brothels. Choosing sexually compatible marriage partner was especially important for women, because prohibition on divorce meant no way to leave unhappy marriage, right of husband to demand sexual access meant unhappy marriage could be exceedingly unhappy for wife, severe punishment of extra-marital sex by women meant no way to gain even sliver of sexual happiness to offset unhappiness. (Extra-marital sex was also usually restricted for men, though not punished so severely as for women. Plus men are simpler in their sexual tastes than women, so less difficult for man to determine if woman sexually compatible than vice-versa, and less unhappiness if man made incorrect determination.)
In modern western society, traditional marriage, in which wife obediently follower husband's lead for life, in exchange for being allowed to stay home and raise children and not be abandoned when she is old, has been mostly replaced by temporary partnership of more or less equal rights and responsibilities, which dissolves as soon as disagreement arises or husband ceases to be of use to wife, whichever occurs first. Follower role in social dancing advertises woman's willingness to follow lead of husband in traditional type marriage, and also trains young women to be wives by having them dance with older men who know how to confidently lead. Similarly, young men are trained to be husbands by dancing with older women who encourage men to confidently lead and punish weakness in men rather than punishing strength. Women who reject traditional marriage and sex roles also naturally reject follower role in social dancing, and argue that "leading" actually means "suggesting" and it is up to follower to either do what was suggested, or do something else if she doesn't like what was suggested, or perhaps end dance before end of song if leader makes too many irritating suggestions. Similarly, modern wife can either do what her husband suggests, do something else, or divorce man if she gets tired of his suggestions. Other modern men and women desexualize social dancing by focusing more on bodily skill required to produce visually impressive dance than intimate embrace between partners of opposite sex. Function of testing sexual compatibility and training for marriage has thus been mostly eliminated in modern social dancing, other than for those few young people still interested in traditional marriage.
Function of advertising sexual attractiveness of prostitutes to clients has been replaced in modern social dancing by inner-oriented motives discussed previously in this document: mate-evaluation (for temporary relationship between equals versus permanent relationship between unequal marriage partners), experience-seeking, bodily-contact, curiosity-satisfying. These inner motives do not require learning difficult dances like tango, nor for woman to obediently follow man's lead, but merely require close bodily connection between partners, as in primitive pelvis to pelvis and pelvis to buttocks grinding dances that occur in popular music nightclubs. (Few women at milongas are literal prostitutes, however prostitution and promiscuity both involve frequent change of sex partners and flaunting of sexuality by young women, which has far more significant effects on individuals and society than transfers of money from man to woman, which occur even in traditional marriage. Hardly surprising that immigrants from traditional societies regard most young women in modern western societies as being effectively prostitutes.)
Finally, there is socializing function, but this doesn't require lead-follow social dancing.
In other words, lead-follow social dances like tango are mostly obsolete, given changes in social attitudes towards marriage, sex roles and sexuality in general, so no surprise that popularity of lead-follow dancing is small compared to other social activities in modern society.
1) Prematurely end dance. Rude and does not give useful feedback to follower. I never use this option unless follower is endangering other dancers with wild kicks.
2) Give follower oral instruction. Violation of milonga etiquette and never helps, even when follower explicitly asks for instruction (speaking from experience here). I never use this option.
3) Grip follower tightly and thus force her to follow. Good option for skilled followers who are initially confused by rubato musicality and merely need to be alerted to pay closer attention. With such skilled followers, only necessary to use slight amount of force for brief amount of time. For example, if leader is dancing 3 steps per measure with 2 steps off-beat, and follower is "chasing beats" during off-beat steps, then grip her tightly for those 2 steps but release grip for on-beat step (beat 1). Follower should get hint after 2 or so measures. This is my default initial option. If it doesn't work, use one of options 4-6.
[Possible to continue to tightly grip unskilled follower and drag her around dance floor for entire song. Follower might forgive this brutality if leader able to make her feel pleasure, whereas she might not forgive boring dance of option 4, clumsy dance of option 5, or leader abdication of responsibility of option 6. Same dilemma men face with sexual intercourse: women despise men who can't make them feel pleasure, but sometimes only way to make a woman feel pleasure is with force, however extremely difficult to know in advance which women will react favorably versus unfavorably to force. Much safer to use one of options 4-6. As a rule, avoid chasing women who put up too much resistance, because they will be bad long term partners. With social dancing as with conversation or sexual intercourse, bad partner worse than no partner.]
4) Switch from rubato to strict tempo musicality. For leaders who don't mind switching, this option works fine. But for leaders who would rather not dance at all than dance in a style they are not enthusiastic about, this option means they will likely never again invite follower to dance but she won't know why, whether because of her poor dance skills or something she said or some other reason. Less immediate unpleasantness but more delayed hurt, plus lack of feedback means no improvement. In other words, for leaders who dislike strict tempo musicality, this option results in tango dancing equivalent of "ghosting": dropping lover, friend or business associate from your life without telling them why. Another problem with this option is that leader might forget unsatisfying but not really horrible dance and so mistakenly invite follower again in the future, leading to yet another unsatisfying dance, or he might confuse bad followers with similar looking good followers, possibly even good followers with whom he has danced previously, and so miss out on future dances with good followers. As a general rule, open and honest communication is best, assuming people can handle honesty. Unfortunately, experience teaches that too many people cannot handle honesty and so best to avoid confrontation.
5) Dance without regard for follower's inability to follow, so that dance looks and feels terribly clumsy. Advantage over option 4 is that resulting dance will be so bad that follower will definitely know that either she or leader has dance skills problem, plus both leader and follower should remember one another and avoid dancing again. If follower later notices leader dancing gracefully with other followers, this should suggest to her that it is she who lacks dance skills, not leader, and so she will know she needs to get feedback on what she is doing wrong, either at a practica or at a private lesson with an instructor. Of course, if leader gets stuck with one bad follower after another, all these followers will quite reasonably conclude that it is leader who has dance skills problem, not them. Therefore, this option only works if bad followers (meaning those who cannot or will not follow rubato musicality leader) are uncommon.
6) Switch to open embrace and let woman dance on her own (forward ochos, boleos and other adornments) without leading her in any way. I would never initiate this option on my own, however several times women have pushed me away and started dancing on their own while I stand there without moving and support her during her ocho/boleo frenzy. Amazingly, these same women sometimes solicit further dances from me later.
No better way to evaluate sexual compatibility, besides act of sex itself, than dancing tango in apilado embrace. So first priority, upon encountering partner who sexually attracts you, should be to dance as many tandas with them as possible. "Where do you usually dance?" communicates that you want to dance again with this partner, while their reply tells you exactly how to arrange future meetings. Even if partner doesn't currently reciprocate your interest, pressure on them is minimal with this simple question.
Aside from being completely inappropriate behavior at milongas, crude physical expressions of sexual interest are often counter-productive. Dancers are usually aware that other people at milonga are watching everything that happens, and so they may take safe and easy road of immediate rejection, even when interest is reciprocated, simply to avoid gossip. Such immediate rejection then creates awkwardness that is difficult to recover from. Examples of crude behavior: grinding pelvis against partner; stroking back or neck; groping breasts or buttocks; kissing; squeezing back or arm muscles. Much better way to express interest is say you enjoyed dance together and hope to dance again in the future: avoid crudity, focus initially on dancing rather than sex.
Most elegant way for two partners to express strong mutual attraction and immediate availability, is for both to delay saying "thank you" at end of tanda, waiting for other person to speak first. Delay that continues across cortina implies couple will dance next tanda together, and perhaps dance all night long if neither partner ever says "thank you".
If only motive for dancing is mate-evaluation, then tendency to only dance with persons who sexually attract you, which greatly limits choice of dance partners, which soon makes it obvious to everyone what you are up to, which then creates pressured situation for anyone who invites you to dance (if you are a woman) or accepts your invitation (if you are a man). Final result is you dance very seldom, are bored at the milongas, and probably never meet the mate you are seeking. Much better if you can enjoy dancing even with partners who you do not find sexually attractive, so that mate-evaluation is secondary motive and primary motive is experience-seeking, bodily-contact or curiosity-satisfying.
Common for only one member of couple to attend milonga, because other partner does not enjoy dancing. Also common for single women to wear wedding rings to avoid unwanted attention from men, and for married men to remove wedding rings because rings are dangerous when working with machinery. So to know true relationship status of unaccompanied dancers, best to explicitly ask. If reply is that they are currently in a relationship, either they are lying because they are not interested in you other than as dance partner, or they are telling the truth, in which case you should wait for them to notify you if and when their current relationship ends.
Above points apply less strictly to tango classes, especially beginner classes, than milongas. That is, more acceptable at beginner class than at milonga for man to engage in conversation with woman who showed some interest in him while dancing, and then to ask her on date if conversation goes well. As discussed elsewhere in this document, beginner classes typically provide better selection of singles than milongas and so those whose primary goal is mate-evaluation should simply repeat beginner class over and over versus attending milongas or intermediate classes.
Because tango is danced closely, important to keep clothes clean smelling, but because of exertion while dancing, shirt underarms may become fouled by perspiration smells, which are sometimes difficult to remove by hand washing shirt in sink.
What I do is following: immediately after returning home from milonga, remove collar stays from shirt, fill sink with warm water, wet shirt thoroughly, rub liquid soap or shampoo against area of shirt around underarms and where women's left underarm may have rested against right sleeve, agitate shirt into soapy water, rinse until soap removed, squeeze shirt into ball to expel excess water (do NOT wring shirt, as this will break seams), replace collar stays, hang shirt to air dry.
If process just described insufficient to to remove all smell, then before hanging shirt to dry, dip both underarms into cup containing small amount of Revivex Odor Eliminator by GearAid (previously known as Mirazyme by McNett) diluted by water. Any smell not removed by soap will be consumed by enzymes as shirt slowly dries. Enzymes in Revivex Odor Eliminator should not affect shirt fabric, but best to test on bottom hem initially, just to be safe. Revivex Odor Eliminator can be ordered from REI.com, Amazon.com and other retailers.
In addition to keeping shirt and other clothes clean smelling, men should try to wear something nicer than baggy tee shirt and shorts or blue jeans. Sloppy dress doesn't directly affect dancing, but it does create bad first impression on followers, so may reduce availability of followers willing to dance closely with man. Business quality long sleeve shirt, with cuffs rolled up to mid forearms in warm conditions, and matching quality long pants, is best choice for most men at modern milongas that don't require full dress suit. I prefer dark colors for both shirt and pants myself, but this is optional. Quality tight-fitting black tee-shirt might be okay for men with lean but muscular upper body. I prefer my long sleeve shirt tucked into my pants, however tight-fitting shirts can also look nice even untucked.
My 100% cotton dress shirts and 100% nylon home-sewn pants both naturally air dry wrinkle-free if hung from a hanger while drying. Wrinkles caused by shirt being carried rolled up in my backpack can be removed by putting shirt on immediately after showering but without drying upper body, so that moisture clinging to body is transferred to shirt and removes wrinkles as shirt dries from body heat.
Many tango dancers value ability to pivot easily, which requires slippery floor and/or slippery soles on shoes, especially leather soles specifically designed for dancing. Other dancers prefer less slipperiness. So there is potential for conflict.
Floor can be made more slippery by first cleaning of sticky substances like dried residue from spilled sugary soft drinks, then waxing and polishing, and finally sprinkling talc. Talc is bad idea, in my opinion, because of difficulty determining exact amount to pour and then distributing evenly, plus dust contaminates premises (audio equipment and other electronics, food being served, people's lungs, etc). Better idea is to focus on making floor slippery enough through cleaning, waxing and polishing to satisfy dancers who want maximal slipperiness, then allow dancers to reduce slipperiness on individual basis by modifying shoe soles.
Shoes can be made less slippery by: applying rosin to leather soles; dampening leather soles with water; using rubber instead of leather soles; inserting strips of rubber at edges of leather sole to use as brakes (there are shoe repair shops in Buenos Aires that specialize in adding such rubber inserts). My preference is to simply dampen leather soles with water: initial soak before leaving home for milonga, then possible further wetting by pouring water on floor near my chair and stepping in resulting puddle, or else visit restroom to soak soles again using sink. Or milonga organizer can provide shallow plastic container with wet towel in it for dancers to step on. Traces of dampness transferred from shoes to floor will almost immediately evaporate, leaving floor unchanged for other dancers. Whereas rosin not so easy to apply, nor to reduce if excess applied, and traces of rosin transferred from shoes to floor will permanently reduce floor slipperiness for other dancers.
My preferred tango shoes for quality dance floors are men's ballet flats (Capezio brand Hanami model with suede sole patches and canvas upper, size 16W), dampened with water to reduce slipperiness. I recommend applying fray-check to all seams, especially seams that attach suede sole patches to canvas upper. For very rough floors, as in some nightclubs without dedicated dance floor, I use rubber sole street shoes.
Best exercise to maintain strength and balance required for dancing correctly is simply to dance correctly. However, beginning dancers sometimes need preliminary work, without which they are unable to dance correctly and so develop bad habits.
Excellent exercise for both core stability and balance is standing motionless on one foot for extended length of time (60+ seconds). To make exercise more difficult, cross arms over chest and close eyes, or try standing motionless on front of foot only.
Planks (downward facing, side, upward facing) also build core stability.
Shoulder stability (important for leaders) can be improved with: pullups; side planks with fully extended supporting arm; kettleball exercises.
My first exposure to tango music and dance was around year 1991, at milonga with lesson hosted at Argentine embassy in Washington, DC. Event was poorly advertised, so only two couples and myself showed up. Man instructor worked with the couples while woman instructor partnered with me, since no single women in attendance. I was an experienced salsa dancer by then, but had some trouble picking up tango moves, so I suggested to woman that we keep things simple, and proceeded to use same dance style used for close hold salsa dancing, which equates in tango to apilado embrace and basic walking steps. Woman commented that I had excellent sense of musicality, at least for some songs, though for other songs I was obviously a complete beginner. Neither she nor I understood that my "musicality" was simply applying to tango same polyrhythm step timimg that comes naturally to intermediate salsa dancers: 3 evenly spaced steps per 4 beats of music, hence 2 steps off beat. (Beginning salsa dancers use quick-quick-slow step timing, so all steps on beat.) Probably I unconsciously applied some rubato to this 3:4 polyrhythm to match any 332 rhythm in the music or maybe I alternated 3 steps in one measure with 2 in the next, then unconsciously applied rubato to give 5 steps in 8 beats. Those 3:4 and 5:8 step patterns will work for many tangos, but not all, hence my difficulty with some of the music. I probably had no problems with vals but likely messed up milonga completely.
Tango dancing was not popular then in Washington, DC, so I didn't follow up on that experience with further tango dance lessons or milongas, but instead resumed salsa dancing, in a style which emphasized fancy turns while holding hands and with frequent "cross-body leads" to add motion. My salsa skills had developed to where partners and spectators alike frequently complimented me, especially whenever I demonstrated how I could take girls who had never danced salsa before and have them dancing at intermediate level with zero instruction other than repeating "quick, quick, slow" several times while rocking the girl onto the beat, then away we'd go with turns. Other girls in her group would then line up to dance with me. However, outer signs of success concealed inner failure, in that I was becoming bored and even disgusted by my dancing. It felt like a job, entertaining partners and spectators but getting nothing for myself. Underlying problem was that fancy turns disconnected me from music other than underlying beat, but music is more important to me than dancing or even prospect of meeting a girlfriend, which is what initially attracted me to dancing.
[As an aside, one advantage of salsa compared with tango dancing is that, with salsa dancing, man has option to gracefully switch to unconnected freestyle dancing with incompatible women. Whereas releasing partner and then continuing to dance separately would be considered rude with tango. Too bad, because tango could really use a way to deal with partner incompatibilities that only become evident after invitation to dance accepted, other than current methods of either persisting with dance that at least one partner is not enjoying, or else abandoning dance before end of tanda, which creates a scene. Also, it was then the custom in the USA to sometimes dance only one salsa song even if both partners were enjoying themselves, and other times dance two songs, so saying "thank you" after one song caused no offense. Compare with traditional four songs in a tango tanda, with expectation to dance all songs.]
I then had two interesting salsa dances where women specifically asked me to remain in close hold, with no turns. Neither of these women attracted me sexually, but yet these dances were more pleasurable in every way than dances involving fancy turns with women who I found extremely sexually attractive, at least until we started dancing, at which point my disgust with fancy turns was transferred to my partner and her attractiveness in my eyes disappeared. Shortly after these two experiences, I observed some older Cuban couples dancing in a more musical way to salsa, and I resolved to imitate them. Unfortunately, not many women were like those two who had specifically asked for close hold without turns. On the contrary, most women were visibly unhappy without fancy turns, so I was forced to return to my previous style, until finally my disgust became such that I gave up salsa dancing entirely.
By then I was living in San Francisco, where tango dancing was starting to become popular, so I decided to try that instead. I immediately saw that the style of dancing taught in tango lessons corresponded to the showy style of salsa dancing I had come to detest, and so I took my simple-looking but musically-oriented salsa dance style and applied to tango, same as I had done at the embassy milonga several years previously. From there I gradually and mostly unconsciously developed my current dance style, called "tango dancing with rubato musicality" in this document, by simply letting music direct my movements so as to create maximum pleasure in my own body. Assuming basic walking steps and compatible music sensibility, follower will feel same movements and similar pleasure in her body.
Most of my regular partners then were older Argentine expats who had lived in Buenos Aires during the tango Golden Age (1940-1946), then emigrated to San Francisco later. As with that instructor in Washington, these older Argentine women were often very appreciative of my musicality and not disturbed either by my lack of fancy steps or any sexual feelings aroused by dancing closely with me rubato style. Americans and younger Argentine women, by contrast, avoided dancing with me.
In addition to feeling better to me for dancing to traditional tango music, dancing with rubato musicality often works very well for late 1950's tango (late Troilo and Pugliese, Varela, etc), and for Astor Piazzolla and other modern tango music, and also for many forms of non-tango music such as electronic dance music. This was convenient, because such non-traditional music was commonly played at some milongas in San Francisco in the 1990's. There was also a weekly milonga then with live performances by the modern tango group Parlando (no longer in existence, but I have a recording of their work), with usually just a small number of people in attendance, sponsored by a wealthy local couple. Husband of this couple was unable to dance due to hip problems, so I would sometimes dance several hours with his wife while he watched. Even Argentine experts took note of me when modern tango music was playing, because I was usually one of the few men in attendance who could dance well to it. Sometimes I and my partner had the floor to ourselves as the other dancers walked off in disgust, muttering "this music is undanceable", despite seeing that I had no trouble dancing to it.
My appreciation for classic era tango music (music recorded in Buenos Aires between approximately 1926 and 1960, with peak during "Golden Age" of 1940-1946) has steadily increased over the years. Philosophers sometimes distinguish between Apollinian (appealing to higher rational mind) and Dionysian (appealing to lower instinctual mind) impulses in art. My own higher mind perceives beauty in western classical music, such as Beethoven or Chopin (or the avant-garde classical composer Morton Feldman or some bebop era jazz), but such music does nothing for my lower mind, which is the ultimate source of life energy and life satisfaction. Whereas popular modern dance music typically strongly affects my lower mind but leaves my higher mind disgusted, due to absence of intelligence and complexity in most popular modern music. Only classic era tango (and to a lesser degree danceable classic/swing era jazz and danceable and rhythmically complex Latin music other than tango, such as salsa) simultaneously satisfies both my higher and lower mind: "intoxicates" and "enraptures" me in the positive sense of those words, versus stupifying me with crude emotions or leaving me emotionally unaffected. Tango is the music I mostly listen to nowadays, including while having sex, assuming I get to choose. When traveling, I sometimes listen to tango music ten or more hours straight, during long bus rides and flights and airport layovers, and never grow bored by it.
After closing my software business around year 2000, I moved from San Francisco to Reno as my legal residence in USA, began traveling, and gave up tango dancing until 2017, when I resumed dancing in Europe, during summer stays in big cities there. Few European women of any age like my tango dance style, other than for tango vals (perhaps because vals has simpler underlying rhythm than tango, or perhaps my rubato musicality deviates from strict tempo less with vals than tango). At least 10% of women dump me before end of tanda, women who complete full tanda typically refuse future invitations or make their discontent so obvious that I don't bother inviting them again, women who watch me dancing with another woman typically don't want to even try dancing with me. In order to avoid being dumped, which everyone notices and which causes all women present to avoid me thereafter, or gossiped about by women dissatisfied by my dancing, I have to confine myself to vals. Dancing only vals is awkward, but alternative is worse: namely, coming to hate tango music because forced to convert to movement in a way that conflicts with my musical sensibility, merely to conform with other people's musical sensibilities. Loss of tango dancing from my life would be a minor loss (or maybe net gain because no more awkwardness at milongas, no more disrupted sleep from staying up late at milongas, no more need to arrange winter/summer travel to cities with active tango dancing scene, removal of dress clothes from travel packing list), whereas loss of enjoyment of tango music would be an enormous loss.
In 2025, I spent 3 months in Buenos Aires and frequently attended afternoon milongas in center city area (https://www.hoy-milonga.com has schedule of milongas in Buenos Aires). (Importance of regular sleep schedule increases with age, so I refused to attend evening and night milongas.) At weekday afternoon milongas, average age of dancers was typically over 50, with younger women at weekend afternoon milongas. Women mostly used close embrace (though not necessarily true apilado close embrace), however posture and other aspects of embrace were often bad. Some women had no difficulty following my musicality, others stumbled initially but caught on to my style after a few measures. As in Europe, I had problems with hopeless beat chasers, with women irritated at lack of ochos, and with women who insist on dancing with separated embrace. (I try to avoid women who dance with separated embrace by observing women dancing with other men before inviting them myself, however no guarantee they will use closed embrace with me.) All in all, success rate was much higher than in Europe, perhaps because average age was also much higher than in Europe, and older women have always been much better for my style because: they focus more on embrace and musicality than steps, their musicality is usually better, they don't shy from close embrace, their motive for dancing is to feel bodily pleasure versus perform for audience or exercise dance skills. Getting women to accept cabeceo invitations at afternoon milongas was usually easy and indeed older women often walked over and invited me while I was quietly sitting in a corner watching. (Alas, invitations from or acceptance of invitations by woman who can't follow me is worse than not dancing.)
While in Buenos Aires, I also had the opportunity to practice dance extensively in her studio with professional tango stage dancer and choreographer, tango dance teacher and former ballerina Irene Martens. This wasn't my first experience with a top level partner, but it was my first experience dancing more than a few tandas with such a partner. After she corrected a few mistakes in my lead, we thereafter simply danced through a selection of songs of all major orchestras until I had established my baseline dance style, comprising steps, musicality and lead that have been proven to be easy to follow by a competent follower. If followers of compatible height cannot follow this baseline dance style, they have a problem, not me. When incompetent followers pull me off track, I imagine myself dancing with Irene and push ahead with my baseline dance style. Field experience at Buenos Aires milongas shows that this is much more effective at getting me and my follower back on track than trying to adapt to skill level of incompetent follower, as I used to do.
Videos of Frank Revelo and Irene Martens dancing together with rubato musicality: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBY2RAyAk9Y demonstrating alternating 5:8 and 6:8 step patterns, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hdzRllFUDI4 demonstrating milonga with alternating 3:4 and 4:4 step patterns.
Leo y Flor tango essays/videos: https://tangoclass.co.kr/en/.
Janis Kenyon blog: https://jantango.wordpress.com. Most of this immense blog devoted to memories of people whom author met at Buenos Aires milongas, but also many useful (and randomly scattered, so you need to skim through the entire blog) posts about expected social behavior at traditional Buenos Aires milongas: how to dance, how to dress, where to sit, how to invite or be invited, etc.
Milonguero challenges: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h__lyQr6NJ8, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9sYWTE6LTg. Buenos Aires milongas are often crowded and forward motion impossible, so ability to dance in place is essential. (For safety reasons, only imitate first video!)
Foot position for tango dancing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7jRJ_b0WtTw. Video is vals, however same rule applies to tango and milonga: that is, feet should stay close to floor for social dancing at traditional Buenos Aires milongas, to avoid stepping on or kicking other dancers under crowded conditions.
Good explanations of square-shape apilado embrace by Carlos Neuman: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=19X5RENEhgk, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifuAD2Vspew. Slow motion demonstration of apilado dancing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mbUF0Ig1Y0. Examples of apilado and other embraces at Buenos Aires milongas: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LpWVchhN1iY.
Another explanation of square-shape apilado embrace (here called milonguero style embrace) by George and Christie of Dance Vision: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5_lX-5n52sU. Man instructor advises that leader should walk forwards heel first, however that is not strictly necessary and not my practice, which is for more aggressive forward lean by leader and leader stepping flat or front foot first, imitating cat. Woman instructor advises that follower should take step timing from leader, use leader's timing, never anticipate any particular timing, which is a point I myself emphasize over and over, because failure to follow leader's timing exactly is a common and difficult to fix error of followers, in my experience.
Good explanations of V-shape apilado embrace by Miriam Larici & Leonardo Barrionuevo: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zdk-wDB5P_w, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7COH4X5bADU, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wuMRrUEyZ5A, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvH_dtc5OHg, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dNjSJ_VvMVs, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xx7S-aOKQ1w.
Another explanation of apilado embrace (called simply close embrace in video) by Pablo and Anne of Tango-Space: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sD7576fxf9Y
Social dancing at El Beso venue in Buenos Aires: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xDppykI9rNA, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2jQws-hq3w, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AllO_Ig7hS0. El Beso was my favorite tango dancing venue when I visited Buenos Aires in June-August 2025, for various reasons: afternoon milongas (starting 15:00) every day of week; convenient center city location; beautiful decor; good sound system; good ventilation and temperature control; smooth wood floor; comfortable seating with layout to accommodate my short-sightedness and use of standing cabeceo (stand and look around for miradas, walk between rows of tables if no miradas visible nearby).
More examples of Buenos Aires social dancing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oMLD9xeFfbc, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I56gwpHUKuo, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rxfzBwSAf8M, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9OZNZv7VqJk, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Q-c7Bny0Ck, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M_ozbfJECXY, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tto97X5coFY, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3uBh4XSXl0. Last 3 videos feature Ismael Heljalil, who was renowned for his embrace and musicality.
Demonstration of dancing to milonga (music style) appropriate for social dancing at milongas (dance events): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oOyYsyktsNw.
Exhibitions by Nestor Ray and Patricia García: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vqxpVxwZ_zg, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQmIxmfKsiE. Exhibition by Nestor Ray and Silvina Valz: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xbvrS2tnGa8. Many other YouTube videos of Nestor Ray demonstrate stage rather than social style dancing. I was fortunate to be able to take instruction in-person from Nestor Ray and to frequently watch him dancing in San Francisco in the late 1990's, when he was a regular at milongas there for part of each year.
Exhibitions by Carlos Neuman and Charlene Chiu: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qq6qgwE2cuQ, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7w6Q-3NeoQc, Carlos Neumann and Angela Baciu: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jneNp5Ruj3I, Carlos Neumann and Natalya: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RwAZ_mPLGvU, Carlos Neuman and Veronica Centurión: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wa1KuQPohUE. All these videos worth studying carefully as examples of excellent social dancing that would not be too difficult for intermediate level leaders/followers.
Exhibitions by Ricardo Vidort and Muma Valino: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ke5iZc_yxSE, Ricardo Vidort & Jill Barrett: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r1wa9pwiiE4, Ricardo Vidort y Vilma Martinez: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=av_EQAOx19E. Everything suitable for social dancing.
Exhibitions by Petaca y Marta Anton: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QIt41jEOprc. Everything suitable for social dancing.
Exhibitions by Noelia Hurtado and Carlitos Espinoza: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P9IktXuyttg, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0zUP8BIDaE, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DOb3FvWF7dg. Beautiful apilado embrace, especially first video. Following exhibition is stage dancing rather than social dancing, but well worth watching nevertheless: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BEzp5w0u9g0.
Exhibition by Felipe Zarzar and Patricia Mori: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zGUkPYZVTgM. Don't judge followers until you've seen them in action.
Exhibitions by Felipe Zarzar and Mamié Sancy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LslfPMeoM9A, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2zo-pyBXOps, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6124hKmQpHk, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eeDVK4nhjss. Most dancing shown in these videos is suitable for social dancing.
Exhibition by Che Carlitos and Mamié Sancy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=go21_oGaAu8. Everything except high back kick near end suitable for social dancing.
Exhibition by Susana Miller y Semiral Tuncer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ylw2Qw20DOo. Everything suitable for social dancing. Associated YouTube channel has huge collection of videos of milonguero style tango dancing: https://www.youtube.com/@tangomilonguero/videos.
Exhibitions by Osvaldo y Coca Cartery: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xb0ETp_uRpA, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_KMLkqjWQ4. Everything suitable for social dancing (though leader high steps only acceptable if leader positioned so no risk to other couples).
Exhibitions by Chino Perico and Paola Tacchetti: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RV63PK9p1N4, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ulzdkkz_02k, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zxV5K6HaVpQ, and by Chino Perico and Malena Rodriguez: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rlVMuqItCjE, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KbH2S95_qOo, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LY1ny2uPM_g. Good model for intermediate level dancers and entirely appropriate for traditional Buenos Aires milongas, other than high kicks, which should be eliminated or kept lower in crowded conditions.
Exhibition by Antonio Martinez and Monica Paz: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53eJSvLwIiQ. Everything suitable for social dancing, including in crowded conditions.
Exhibitions by Pocho y Nelly Fernando: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lxclb5Z--hg, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vi4_JExd4Zw, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvoPyexSPkg.
Exhibitions by Shastro and Maria: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjOBovaoh44, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9IRzQ-y7Px0, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UUTc6TIr7s4. "Simple can be beautiful." All moves suitable for social dancing, though straight ahead walking only possible on non-crowded floors.
Exhibitions by Ned Sabi and Nina: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-vkSbD9ZJ0, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sVtdPTwG_K8, and Ned Sabi & Tamara Kleva: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Qko32Im8w0, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRen8BsMdMY. High kicks should be avoided in crowded milongas.
Exhibitions by Ruben Harymbat y Mirta Tiseyra: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPBS5YzXDhk, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R-gJSYdF-qo, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XmXG4rV4jYI.
Exhibition by Ruben Harymbat y Maria Plazaola: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjZaCaPg2qc.
Ruben Harymbat (and Olga Matveeva?) at Buenos Aires nightclub: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V2Bt_Ne9tbw. Perhaps best example in this document of what beginning leaders should aspire towards.
Exhibitions by Armando Orzuza and Nuria Martinez: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6HM5QmNr2Nk, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZn7AYvMYGA.
Exhibition by Gerardo Portalea y Silvina Damiani: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9nBXo3kSitA. Not apilado embrace, not on beat, and not timing I would dance, but worth studying carefully.
Exhibitions by Gerardo Portalea y Susanna: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pORg6wxeV6Q, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MxiJ9KyLqTQ.
Exhibition by Gerardo Portalea y Beatriz Pizarro: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Le1_MjxsY8c.
Exhibition by Osvaldo Centeno y Ana Maria Schapira: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fzhf8ZatcNM.
Exhibitions by Amanda Lucero and Beto Ayala: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUxVZUtRfA8, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GX-nunHKNqs, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLD-Y5ptZ0s. Everything suitable for social dancing at milongas.
Exhibitions by Adela Galeazzi y Santiago Cantenys: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o3iaIGV7pog, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rUL453JA7qg. Everything suitable for social dancing at milongas.
Exhibitions by Eduardo "El Nene" Masci y Roxana L'Arco: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NrMVK2d1jW0, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7_SnTbEqJA, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tgzs_B2oTy4, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_JGwTcJJZ1I. Everything suitable for social dancing at milongas, provided room available for back kicks.
Exhibitions by Murat Erdemsel and Silvina Tse: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DkTiW2Fv6Kw, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_X6zSKfns0, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOFxTToSiP8. Step timing often what this document calls "rubato musicality". Dancing mostly suitable for milongas.
Exhibition by Christine Lambert & Antonio Llamas: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4J6crZm5OEE. Foxtrot rather than tango rhythm (originally by Argentine woman vocalist Tormenta, here recorded by Cruz Montenegro and orchestra Enrique Rodríguez). Dancing not suitable for social dancing at crowded milongas, especially follower kicks, but would be acceptable on mostly empty dance floor.
Extracts from Argentine Films of 1930's, showing tango dancing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZ5_WMIQ988. Dancers enjoying themselves with compatible partner more interesting to watch than dancers primarily trying to impress audience. So even if ultimate goal is to impress audience, best way to accomplish that is to focus first on your and your partner's enjoyment. Starting at 1:10 is exhibition by El Cachafaz, legendary old guard era tango dancer, renowned for his elegant style according to todotango.com, however wild kick and hippity-hopping shown in film extract would make him a laughing stock at modern milongas. Another film extract with same El Cachafaz exhibition additionally demonstrates original meaning of cabeceo at 2:03: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSMObGu9DLY. Tango music and dancing, like Dixieland jazz music and dancing, has its roots in brothel culture. Using cabeceo to invite an unknown woman to dance torso pressed against torso and mouths almost touching would have been unthinkable in respectable Argentine society of the early 20th century. Many other scenes in this film extract of ordinary dancers using milonguero embrace, though often without discernible apilado posture, and mostly basic walking steps. Swing dancing ("cheek to cheek") of same era was equally simple: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DrLqM8mZhis.
Exhibition by Anna and Osvaldo of canyengue embrace that was popular in early 20th century: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BsvBwPcvruk.
Another exhibition of canyengue embrace by Gallego Manolo and Martha Anton: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zGR4AalFOKw.
Extract from 1951 Argentine film Direcho Viejo, showing Lita y Jose Mendez in orillero embrace, which is intermediate between canyengue and modern embraces: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yTmyIvYvzrQ.
Exhibition by Eleonora Kalganova and Michael Nadtochi: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFOrJ0rcaJU. Dancers follow music very closely, however, this is stage dancing and it would be considered disrespectful to other couples on the dance floor to dance this way at a traditional Buenos Aires milonga. When dancing alone, Ms Kalganova shines even more brightly, with extraordinarily closeness between music and her movements: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nu3E4WTN_kQ, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z5YdcYwvaZU. Sometimes when women at milongas express frustration at simplicity of my dance style, I give them opportunity to put on solo performance, by sitting and watching without inviting them to dance with me, but then they express frustration at that as well.
Spectacular exhibition by Eleonora Kalganova and Tarek Marroushi: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-VoOpo9u9oY. Surprisingly tepid applause by audience, probably bored by one spectacular exhibition after another, same boredom I experience watching videos of these spectacular exhibitions.
Exhibitions by Murat Erdemsel and Eleonora Kalganova: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3qlmMFeOxZw, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JeqalZvqmXk, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8i5vVZAlR6s. Another example of stage dancing. Step timing often what this document calls "rubato musicality". I would have preferred to see these superb dancers go an entire song just doing basic walking steps, rather than obscuring musicality with step fanciness.
Exhibitions by Clarisa Aragon and Jonathan Saavedra: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljgZyOKE95k, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_clbLO__D-8, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=unJMuA--GJM. Stage dancing, showing extraordinary closeness between sound of music and movement of dancers.
YouTube offers unlimited selection of videos of tango dancing that would be inappropriate at traditional milongas (because ostentatious or dangerous due to wild kicks), or that disrepects and has no relation to music, or both. Unfortunately, such anti-social dancing is what mostly attracts and influences beginners.