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Most important thing and only thing you need to remember from this lesson is that everything we discuss here is also discussed on our website, where it is better organized and with additional details. So no need to understand or remember everything we discuss in this lesson. Just read the transcript of the lesson for beginners on our website at: www.CESDance.com.
Lesson consists of a lecture and some demonstration dancing, followed by a practice dancing period and then the dance party itself. Because the lecture and demonstration dancing are the same for every pre-party lesson, there is no reason to repeat the lesson. So you are welcome to come late to lesson in the future and only attend the practice dancing followed by the dance party.
Our website links to some YouTube videos, which demonstrate the style of dancing which we teach and which we expect you to use when dancing. Please study those videos carefully.
You are welcome to read the website or watch those videos instead of listening to the lesson, provided you turn volume on your smartphone off first. While on this topic, let's have everyone put their smartphone on silent mode, and keep it on silent mode until leaving the dance party premises. Thank you.
As noted elsewhere in this document, we require dancing in close embrace with square-shape and light apilado and no high boleos, as demonstrated in the videos below, for all types of music we play at our dance parties, not just tango music.
Ismael Heljalil and unidentified dance in close embrace at Buenos Aires milonga: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M_ozbfJECXY.
Ruben Harymbat and Olga Matveeva dance in close embrace at Buenos Aires milonga: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V2Bt_Ne9tbw.
Pedro Sanchez and Rosanna Remon dance in close embrace to Tango, Milonga and Vals music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4cHAE_bqNs.
Ruben and Teressa dance in close embrace to Candombe: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hx81RhyPXk. This bouncy style of dancing would also work for music we categorize as Swing, Salsa or Samba.
"Balboa" style of close embrace dancing to swing music satisfies our rules as to allowable embraces and dance styles: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L6hfm8zmgBI.
Explanation and demonstration of close embrace by Carlos Neuman and unidentified partner: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=19X5RENEhgk.
One of our strictly enforced rules is that women must keep their feet close to the floor at all times (raised no more than 10cm above floor), so no high boleos. This is also the rule at traditional Buenos Aires milongas: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7jRJ_b0WtTw.
Close embrace social dancing is far removed from classical ballet, however discussion of musicality in following video (starting at 6:01) might help in understanding what this current document means by that term ("...dancers with strong musicality time movements perfectly to match accents in the music, know when to stay on beat and when to go off it, and most importantly, can make audience [partner if social dance] feel something through their movements..."): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vni148KpCx8&t=361s.
Before we proceed, we want to remind everyone that there are several strictly enforced rules at our dance parties. You should have been informed of those rules at the entrance. Strictly enforced means we will ask violators to leave the dance floor immediately and review the rules as posted on our website. Repeat or serious violators will be expelled from the dance party by security. There is no refund of admission fee for persons expelled from the dance party for violating our strictly enforced rules.
Strictly enforced rule 1 is that everyone must dance using the style of embrace and dance style that we teach. Namely, square-shaped close embrace with light apilado, with no high boleos. ["Apilado" is Spanish for "piled up", in the sense of torsos piled up and thus leaning against one another.] No separated embrace, other than slight separation (no more than 10cm) that many beginners find necessary when performing forwards ochos. No tango nuevo (which uses heavy apilado, sometimes called volcado), no canyengue, no ballroom, no kizombo, no zouk, no pelvis grinding, no other styles of close embrace different from what we teach. No open turns like in salsa dancing. Close embrace must be square-shaped rather than V-shaped, so that the woman looks over the man's shoulder rather than at his face (assuming she is tall enough, we will discuss much shorter women later). Feet must be kept no higher than 10cm from floor at all times, so no boleos and women's adornments that involve lifting feet from floor more than 10cm.
Reasons for this first strictly enforced rule are as follows: (a) so that everyone knows what they are proposing or agreeing to when they invite someone to dance or accept an invitation; (b) to reduce the amount to learn so that people can begin enjoying dancing as soon as possible; (c) to maintain a uniform ambiance on the dance floor; (d) to discourage exhibitionism. Additional reasons for prohibiting V-shaped embrace: (e) to reduce risk of transmitting respiratory illnesses caused by breathing directly in partner's face; (f) to avoid unpleasantness in cases where one of partners has bad breath.
We know that many of you are busy and cannot spend years learning to master a multitude of different and complicated dance styles, to allow dancing to different types of music. The close embrace dance style we teach is simple and easy to learn at the basic level, and this one dance style can then be used for all the music we play. Furthermore, this style is the most common style worldwide for dancing to Argentine tango music, so that what you learn here can be used elsewhere rather than only at our dance parties.
[Note that while learning the basics of close embrace dancing is easy, mastering close embrace dancing can indeed take many years. However, there is no need to take many years of lessons. Learn the basics in this lesson, then take some additional lessons with professional dance teachers (we will discuss this later), then improve by regularly dancing at our dance parties and by actively listening to dance music at home as much as possible.]
As already noted, this is a social dancing event, not a sporting event nor a theatrical performance. Dancers who feel frustrated by our rule requiring a specific embrace and prohibiting boleos and other women's adornments should probably find another dance event where they will feel more welcome.
We are not naive regarding human nature. Social status hierarchies and the desire to rise in the social hierarchy are ubiquitous human phenomena. But there are good and bad hierarchies. Instead of trying to become the woman who men want to look at, try to become the woman who men want to embrace closely in their arms. These are not necessarily the same thing. For the men, instead of trying to become the man who women want to dance with because he creates a performance that attracts the attention of spectators, try to become the man who women want to dance with because they like being embraced closely in his arms even with no one watching. In other words, we are not trying to eliminate competition, but rather to shift competition to the invisible arena of bodily feeling versus superficial arena of visual appearance (exhibitionism).
Strictly enforced rule 2 is that only other-sex dancing is allowed during the dance party, even though same-sex practice dancing is required during part of this lesson. Men dancing with men and solitary dancing are both strictly prohibited during our dance parties. To reiterate, this is not a sporting event or theatrical performance, where participants are not interested in any sort of deeper connection to their partner. This is a social event for people who want to dance in close embrace with persons of the other sex. Same-sex and solitary dancing disrupt the ambiance we are trying to create.
We make an exception to the rule against same-sex dancing for a small number of women who want to lead other women. These women must: (a) ask organizer's permission in advance (permission is almost automatic for women over age 40, though they must nevertheless ask first); (b) wear long pants (can be women's style, any color) rather than skirt or dress; (c) wear low heels (can be women's style, any color) or black ballet flats (not pink or other light color ballet flats, which are reserved for women dancing as followers) rather than high heels. Among other reasons for this special dress code for women leaders is that this allows women followers to know when they are being invited to dance by a woman leader. We anticipate and are prepared for only a small number of women leaders.
Strictly enforced rule 3 is that no one is to sprinkle talc or similar substances on the floor to make it more slippery. We do not own this venue and do not have permission to put down talc. Anyone caught putting down talc will be immediately reported to security (security is employed by the venue, not us), expelled from the dance party and permanently banned from future dance parties. If the floor is sticky, talk to the organizers and we will talk to the venue owner to see if something can be done about the situation. (Note that talc is often contaminated with asbestos, which causes long-term lung damage.)
Strictly enforced rule 4 is that smartphones and other electronics must be kept on silent mode. No ringing, no alarms, no audio of any sort. If you need to make a voice call, you can do so in the hallway away from the dance floor.
Strictly enforced rule 5 is that there is to be no arguing with the organizer about the preceding rules, and also no misbehavior of the sort that would result in being asked to leave other respectable nightclubs.
There are other rules, concerning dance floor navigation and dance etiquette, which we will discuss later and which we encourage everyone to follow but which are not strictly enforced. This means we usually do not say anything to people who violate these other rules. However, everyone who understands these other rules will notice violations and possibly refuse to dance with or otherwise associate with repeat violators. So please read and follow these other rules.
In the tango dancing community, dance style we call "dancing in close embrace with square-shape and light apilado" is variously called dancing milonguero style, dancing apilado style, or dancing "estilo del centro" (which is Spanish for "style of center [of city]"). However, there is dispute among tango dancers as to the exact meaning of the preceding terms. Also, there are other dance styles used for social dancing to tango music in Buenos Aires, both at center city and outer district dance venues, besides the close embrace style we teach. Finally, not all the music we play is tango music. For all these reasons, we prefer our own terminology to describe the dance style we teach and require at our dance parties, without any reference to tango.
Close embrace with square-shape and light apilado is the most common dance embrace used at traditional center city Buenos Aires tango social dancing venues, and also at tango dance events worldwide. Separated embrace and close embrace with V-shape are the other embraces commonly used nowadays for Argentine tango social dancing. If you first learn to dance in square-shaped close embrace, switching to these other embraces is easy. Tango Nuevo, Estilo Canyengue and Estilo Orillero are other embraces that can be used for social dancing to tango music, but these are not common. There are also special embraces and dance styles only used for theatrical performances to tango music.
Note that many of the non strictly enforced rules of behavior that we expect to be observed at our dance parties, such as dance floor navigation rules and cabeceo/mirada invitation protocol, are also similar to rules at traditional center city Buenos Aires tango social dancing venues, where such rules are called "codigos" (Spanish for "codes" [of behavior]). And these rules are also common at tango dancing events outside Buenos Aires.
Note also that it has always been common at traditional Buenos Aires milongas (name of tango dancing events, and also, confusingly, the name of a type of music closely related to tango) to mix tango and other types of music. In the 1940's, which was the Golden Age of tango music, tandas (or groups of songs danced as a set at a milonga) of tango music alternated with tandas of Swing (Jazz) music. Both types of music were typically danced in close embrace with square-shape and light apilado. Sometime after 1950, tandas of rock-and-roll music replaced the swing tandas. Rock-and-roll is mostly danced in Buenos Aires using separated embrace. Later, many milongas added tandas of Salsa and other Latin music, sometimes called tropical tandas, which are danced in separated embrace, similar to how Salsa music is danced elsewhere. Finally, there are often Chacharera (Argentine folk music) tandas, which are danced without direct bodily contact between men and woman. Our only deviation from Buenos Aires traditions is to restore the swing tandas and to dance in close embrace for all the music we play, not just tango music.
Social dancing can be contrasted with: (a) performance or stage dancing, where the goal is to please an audience of spectators; (b) sport dancing, where the goal is to exercise and improve one's skills and perhaps impress an audience of judges if competition sport dancing; (c) self-focused dancing, where the goal is to enjoy simply moving our body to music. In social dancing, our focus is on our partner, not on any audience of spectators or judges seated around the dance floor, and also not on ourselves. [Solo dancing at a rave while surrounded by other people solo dancing is social behavior however our use of the term "social dancing" always means "partner dancing".]
Not everyone who comes to our dance parties is interested in connecting to a variety of partners by dancing with them in close embrace. Some come simply to listen to the music, engage in conversation and watch other people dance. Other people come with an existing relationship partner and plan to spend the whole evening dancing with just that partner.
(!!! Note that our social dance party is a perfect place for taking someone on a date, assuming both partners know the basics of dancing. So even if you decide you aren't interested in regular attendance at social dancing events, being able to social dance might be a very useful skill in the future, which is a good reason to at least learn the basics.)
Majority of people who social dance have one of the following truly social motives:
First, single people commonly use social dancing to seek out prospective mates and evaluate them for sexual compatibility. We call this the mate-seeking/evaluation motive. In the past, mate-seeking/evaluation was the primary motive for social dancing, because young women were carefully chaperoned before marriage, so that social dancing was the only way to evaluate prospective husbands for sexual compatibility. Modern society is less restrictive about sex prior to marriage, however nowadays we have another issue. Namely, many people nowadays are frustrated by the limitations of online dating, where all they have to evaluate prospective mates is a photograph, possibly a heavily photoshopped or even faked photograph, and a few lines of text description. There is no way with online dating to know how a person smells, what their voice sounds like, how they feel to the touch, or what their inner personality is like, and yet these are all more important factors than visual appearance in determining the success of a long term relationship. By contrast, social dancing allows evaluating both visual appearance and these other factors, in just a few minutes of dancing with a potential mate.
Note that we are happy to see a constant flow of new faces at our dance parties and disappearance of familiar faces, because we assume many of these disappeared familiar faces had mate-seeking/evaluation as their motive and disappeared because they found the mate they were seeking and so no longer have use for our dance parties. As explained elsewhere, our rationale for requiring a simplified dance style is also related to the mate-seeking/evaluation motive. Namely, people with that motive typically do not want to spend too much time learning complicated dance styles.
Second, some young people lack social skills to interact effectively with the opposite sex. Either they present themselves as awkward and sexually unattractive, or they are unable to competently judge other people's sexual compatibility. Social dancing can help develop skills with the opposite sex that these young people lack, so we call this the social-skills-development motive, which is usually combined with the mate-seeking/evaluation motive. One of the best ways for young people to develop social skills with the opposite sex is via interactions with people who are not seen as prospective mates, because this reduces performance anxiety. Thus we highly recommend that both young men and young women, even if seeking a single and sexually compatible mate their own age, to practice dance with older partners, married partners, and other types of dance partners who are not seen as prospective partners for long-term intimate relationship.
Third, some people engage in social dancing because they want bodily contact with other humans, especially of the opposite sex, and have no other way besides close embrace dancing to obtain such bodily contact. We call this the embrace-seeking motive. This motive is common among people who are long-term single as well as those who are married or otherwise involved in an intimate relationship, but not receiving physical intimacy from that relationship for some reason, such as illness of their partner.
Fourth, some people use social dancing to socialize and communicate with other people using the sense of touch instead of exclusively communicating via speech, which is overly emphasized by language-oriented humans as compared with other social mammals. We call this the non-verbal-conversation motive.
Fifth, some people want to learn about the inner nature of other people, which we call the curiosity-satisfying motive. This motive differs from embrace-seeking and non-verbal-conversation motives in that curiosity-satisfying implies preferring quantity and novelty of dance connections to quality of dance connections, whereas those with embrace-seeking and non-verbal-conversation motives typically prefer repeat dances with known compatible partners. Curiosity-satisfying often precedes these other motives, since we must first discover compatible partners before repeat dancing with them.
Mate-seeking/evaluation and social-skills-development are the most common motives for younger people who are new to social dancing. Embrace-seeking and non-verbal-conversation are the most common motives for older people who regularly attend social dancing events. Curiosity-satisfying is a common motive for first time dance with a previously unknown partner, regardless of age.
There is considerable overlap between motives in above classification scheme. Other schemes might list more or less than 5 motives for social dancing, and/or use different descriptiors than those above.
First factor is music being played. Closely embracing a compatible partner, while listening to music both of you enjoy, should be enjoyable without complicated dance movements. But music you enjoy is essential for this to work. Organizers of this dance party put considerable effort into choosing music that we feel is enjoyable to listen and dance to. However, musical tastes can differ. If you don't like any of the music we play, situation is hopeless. Whereas if you like some of the music we play but not all of it, then only invite someone to dance or accept an invitation if the music playing is something you like.
Second factor is compatibility with partner. Closely embracing a compatible partner, while listening to music both of you enjoy, should be enjoyable without complicated dance movements. But a compatible partner is essential for this to work. So be careful about who you invite to dance or whose invitations you accept. Not dancing is better than dancing with an incompatible partner.
Third factor is embrace. Walking in close embrace is not a difficult skill, but it is not trivially easy either, and does require practice to master this skill. The best practice is by dancing with lots of different partners here at our dance parties. You can also take group or individual lessons where the teacher can identify common errors in your walking embrace and suggest improvements.
Fourth factor is musicality. In the leader, this involves converting music into dance movements that are more sophisticated than those of a simple walking close embrace while stepping on beat. Such sophistication can be achieved either by adding complexity in time or complexity in space. We will discuss these two options in more detail later. In the follower, musicality means ability to understand and appreciate the leader's conversion of music into dance movements.
Fourth factor of musicality, or active interpretation of music, is different from first factor of passive enjoyment of music. It is quite possible to enjoy listening to music but not know how to convert the music into close embrace movements. Good musicality requires the ability to anticipate where the music is going, which in turn requires deep familiarity with either the particular musical recording being played or the general style of the composer, arranger and musicians of that song and recording. In particular, the dance leader must be able to plan his movements a few seconds in advance so that they match the music when it arrives. Both leader and follower need to develop a strong emotional response to dance music and to the relation between dance music and bodily movement. Dance musicality can only be developed by listening extensively to dance music at home and by dancing extensively to that music at dance events. It can take a lifetime to fully develop dance musicality, which is why the best tango social dancers (as opposed to performance dancers) in Buenos Aires are typically older than age 60. On the other hand, Mozart was composing sonatas at age 6, and likewise there are social dancers with natural musical talent who can develop dance musicality much faster than average.
Underlying the four factors just discussed is the concept of connection: connection to the music, connection to our partner. We connect to music we like by converting that music into dance movements. We connect to a partner we like using close embrace with square-shape and light apilado.
Before we can embrace our partner, we must first learn to stand with correct posture: erect, muscles slightly firmed in core, chest lifted, weight slightly onto the front of the feet at all times, whether walking forwards or backwards. Keeping the weight on the front of the feet when walking backwards is especially important for women to master, because women normally walk backwards during the dance and keeping the weight forwards while walking backwards is not natural for most people.
When walking forwards, you can step either heel first or front of foot first. Heel first while leaning forwards from the ankles will likely feel unnatural to most modern men, however this style of walking was common among Argentine men in the past, perhaps because they wore higher heels than in most modern men's dress shoes. Stepping onto the front of the foot is perfectly acceptable and will usually feel more natural for men wearing typical modern men's dress shoes, or wearing ballet flats with zero heels.
Men and women embrace by connecting at the torso, with light pressure between torsos and with the woman slightly to the right side of the man so she can look over his shoulder. There should be slight pressure between the sides of the man's and woman's heads.
Torso to torso embrace is very intimate, perhaps too intimate for many people from non-Latin cultures. If so, as noted previously, all dancing here is by mutual consent. If you would not feel comfortable in close embrace with a particular person, do not invite that person to dance or accept their invitation. It is a violation of etiquette at our dance parties to make an invitation or accept an invitation and not be willing to use close embrace. If your partner commits such a violation of etiquette, feel free to terminate the dance immediately by saying "thank you" and walking away. If you do not want to closely embrace anyone, including same sex partners during lesson practice, feel free to sit and watch. To repeat, all dancing here is by mutual consent.
If the woman is much shorter than the man, there are two solutions. Either the man can use his natural or artificial pot belly to connect with woman, or the woman can turn her head to her right and rest her head against the man's chest. Many women find resting their head against the man's chest to be too intimate, so we encourage men who don't have a natural pot belly to learn to create an artificial pot belly. This is done by inhaling some air and then pushing out with the stomach muscles.
After connecting torsos, we connect arms. For basic shadow step walking, pressure between man and woman should be primarily through the torso, and arms should be relaxed but yet firmly locked into position. For non-shadow steps, arms do transmit some pressure, though lead itself is still via torso.
Some common errors in embrace:
Basic walking steps are the steps we ordinarily use while walking around a room by ourselves. First we put our weight on one leg, then we move the free leg in a direction (forwards, backwards, sideways, diagonally), then we put our weight on that leg and move the other leg. We can also take a step and then immediately reverse that step so we are back where we started ("rock step"). And we can pivot while stepping. If embracing a partner, pivots must be limited to 90° or less, at least for beginners, whereas we can do a full 180° or more if walking by ourselves. Finally, in order to look more elegant, we should try to bring our feet together as we step. This is a styling issue and does not affect dancing if you don't do it, though it does look clumsy not to close feet. Also, it is sometimes impossible to fully close feet, such as with quick rock steps.
We can also call the basic walking steps "shadow steps", because the follower resembles shadow image of leader. [Note that "mirror steps" would be incorrect, since reflection in a mirror comes closer as you approach the mirror, whereas in dancing, the follower stays the same distance from the leader at all times, like a shadow.]
Close embrace with square-shape and light apilado, combined with basic shadow walking steps, while stepping on beat, is the foundation of close embrace dancing. Skill at walking in close embrace, together with understanding dance floor navigation and dance etiquette, is all that is really needed to dance at our dance parties.
Move along line of dance (counter-clockwise as seen from above). If dance floor is large, there may be multiple concentric lines of dance, as with a multi-lane circular racetrack. Avoid passing other dancers. If you must pass, pass on the left (towards center of floor) because the right side is the blind spot of the leader you are passing. Dancers at center of floor may dance in place, however we encourage dancers to avoid the center and follow the line of dance. Avoid bumping into other dancers. Be particularly careful about backwards steps. Be careful when entering the dance floor, if there are already other couples dancing.
Follower usually keeps her eyes open and watches what is happening to the leader's rear and right sides, which are his blind spots. If she sees an oncoming collision, she usually squeezes the leader with her left hand (which is draped over his upper back) or gives some other manual signal. It is also acceptable and common for followers to close their eyes while dancing.
Under crowded conditions, progression along the line of dance comes to a halt due to traffic jams, and dancers are forced to dance in place. Thus all dancers should be able to both progress along line of dance and dance in place.
Do not walk across the dance floor while dance music is playing and the floor is occupied by other dancers. Instead, walk around the sides of the floor.
Please do not give or ask for instruction/feedback while dancing. If someone really wants instruction/feedback, and you want to help them, you can talk off the dance floor after finishing dancing a tanda of songs. If absolutely necessary (such as safety issues), you can demonstrate (as opposed to merely talking) somewhere away from the dance floor, such as in the hallway, however this is considered disrespectful to the social dancing ambiance and strongly discouraged.
Except for situations of misbehavor, partners are expected to dance the entire tanda together. To avoid being stuck with incompetent/boring partners, observe prospective partners before inviting them or accepting their invitations. Examples of misbehavior during dance which justifies terminating dance prematurely: refusal to use close embrace with square-shape and light apilado (refusal to use close embrace is acceptable at some social dancing events, however our dance parties are clearly labeled as "close embrace only"); touching partner inappropriately (breasts, buttocks); endangering partner or other couples with wild movements. To terminate dance politely, say "thank you" and walk off.
Please minimize rudeness, even when other person was rude first, so as not to escalate conflicts.
There is no rule against staring at your smartphone while not dancing and we will not say anything to people who do this, but it is highly disrespectful to the ambience of our dance party and we hope you will minimize such behavior. We suggest you experiment with actively (not just passively) listening to the music and attentively watching the other people in the nightclub, in lieu of staring at your smartphone, when you are sitting instead of dancing and need some way to pass the time. (As noted in the section about strictly enforced rules, smartphones must always be kept on silent mode during both lesson and dance party.)
We do not have a dress code currently, but we might in the future. Please dress appropriately for nightclubs that do have dress codes. No ragged tee-shirts, worn blue jeans, sandals, dirty running shoes and similar attire more suitable for working in the potato garden or feeding the pigs than for a nightclub environment.
[As noted elsewhere, women leaders must wear pants, rather than dress or skirt, and low heeled shoes (both pants and low-heeled shoes may be women's styles of any color) or black ballet flats. Men's ballet flats must always be black. Pink and other light-colored ballet flats are reserved for women followers.]
Remember that we are dancing in close embrace with light apilado, meaning torsos pressed against one another. Avoid wearing clothing that might make this uncomfortable, such as metal adornments on the chest.
Women with big hairstyles should consider tying their hair to the left side, to avoid getting their hair in the leader's face.
Hygiene is obviously important when dancing in close embrace. Please wear clean clothes and be clean and clean-smelling yourself. Avoid using too much perfume or cologne, since some people are allergic to these substances.
Depending on the venue, we may have a plastic tray in the corner with a wet towel inside. If wearing leather sole shoes, you can step on this towel to dampen the leather and make it less slippery, in case the floor is too slippery. As noted in the section on strictly enforced rules, it is absolutely prohibited to use talc to make the floor more slippery.
We encourage dancers to dance by mutual consent, as in ordinary nightclubs, versus treating our dance party as a sporting event where all participants must partner with all other participants regardless of whether they want the person as a partner or not. This implies that many invitations to dance will be rejected. To reduce the stress on both men and women of repeated rejection, we recommend dancers use traditional Buenos Aires cabeceo/mirada protocol to solicit, make and accept/reject invitations.
Cabeceo/mirada is a modified version of how men and women ordinarily indicate interest in one another at nightclubs, and greatly reduces the stress of rejecting and being rejected compared with direct invitation/refusal. Direct invitation means one person asks the other: "Do you want to dance?" Direct refusal means the other person replies "no" or makes up a polite excuse as alternative to "no". Even worse than rejection, at least to those of us who value quality of dances over quantity, is grudging acceptance, where someone accepts a direct invitation they don't really want, merely to avoid offending the other person by rejection. Unenthusiastic dancing is typically bad dancing. Furthermore, people who repeatedly accept invitations they don't really want eventually may develop a disgust for our dance parties and stop attending, which is a loss for everyone. It is thus better to make rejection easy, so that all dances are desired dances, and that is what cabeceo/mirada does. (Preceding discussion should not be interpreted to imply that every dance should be with the partner of your dreams. It is perfectly normal to invite or accept an invitation to dance with less favorite partners because that is all that is available and you would rather dance than not dance. The idea is that you want to dance with the other person for at least some reason.)
Cabeceo/mirada protocol works as follows. During the cortina (short period of non-dance music between tandas of dance music), both men and women scan the room and attempt to make eye contact with desired partners. If eye contact is made, and the woman wants to dance with the man, she should maintain eye contact and can optionally smile. Sustained eye contact by the woman is called "mirada" (Spanish for "gaze"). If the woman does not want to dance with the man, she looks to the side and does not smile. Under no circumstances should the woman look down. Looking down indicates strong submissive interest by the woman in ordinary nightclubs but leads to confusion at our dance parties. A woman who has strong interest in a man can stare at him while he is scanning the room during the cortina, to increase likelihood of eye contact.
If eye contact is made, and both man and woman maintain eye contact, and the man wants to dance with the woman, then he invites her by some gesture, such as motioning with his head towards the dance floor ("cabeceo" is Spanish for "head gesture"), perhaps accompanied by a smile. The woman accepts the invitation by nodding, possibly smiling, and continuing to maintain eye contact with the man. Or she can reject the invitation by looking to the side. To reiterate, the woman should not look down, because this leads to confusion at our dance parties.
After the woman accepts the invitation, she should remain in place while the man walks over to her. This detail is important, because there are two possible problems with cabeceo/mirada.
The first problem occurs when 2 women are sitting near one another (side-by-side or one behind the other) and both think they are making eye contact and being invited by the same man. It would be embarrassing if the wrong woman stands up and walks towards the man and the man walks past her to the other woman. Some men will try to avoid causing embarrassment by accepting the woman who stood up, however this encourages aggressiveness in women. The correct way to fix the problem is for the man to walk towards the woman he invited, while maintaining eye contact with her and only her. As he gets closer, it will be obvious to the other woman that she was mistaken about the man's eye contact and thus about his invitation.
The second problem occurs when 2 men are sitting near one another and both think the same woman has accepted their invitations. When both men stand up and approach this same woman, it will be obvious to the men that there was an error. The men should nod to one another as a sign of politeness and then spread apart, so there is distance between them, and then remain in place, while continuing to look at the woman. The woman maintains eye contact only with the man whose invitation she accepted. This man resumes walking towards the woman while the other man returns to his seat.
In crowded situations, where problems with cabeceo/mirada are more likely, it is common for men and women to request confirmation of an invitation or acceptance of invitation by pointing to their chest, as if to say "did you mean me?" The other person then confirms with a nod or looks to the side if there was an error regarding the invitation or acceptance of invitation.
In some nightclubs, line of vision may be limited and both men and women may wander around the sides of the dance floor or around the bar, so as to get clearer view of prospective partners. Rules of cabeceo/mirada still apply. In particular, do not assume that someone walking in your direction is coming to meet you. Instead, first establish eye contact if you want to dance with that person, and avoid eye contact otherwise. Then, if and when eye contact is established, the man can proceed as discussed above by making a silent invitation (head gesture or similar).
Shadow step walking on beat, while listening to music and closely embracing a compatible partner, can and should be an enjoyable experience. However, this is an overly simplified dance. To make things more interesting, we need to add complexity, either in time or in space. We will discuss complexity in time first.
Complexity in time is achieved by irregular step timing, which creates irregularity in acceleration and deceleration as we start and end steps, which in turn creates irregular upper body movements. If arranged properly, these irregularities create a feeling of being carried by and thus connecting very closely to the music. Because there is little disruption to the embrace when dancing with complexity in time, connection to partner will also be very close. And we do not need to learn any additional steps beyond the basic shadow walking steps. Close connection to music, close connection to partner and no need to learn non-shadow steps are the three advantages of dancing with complexity in time.
Main disadvantage of dancing with complexity in time is the high level of musicality required in both leader and follower, but especially leaders. Musicality typically develops naturally by carefully listening to and dancing to dance music. Some people have innate musical talent and develop dance musicality quickly. Others develop dance musicality very slowly.
Another disadvantage of dancing with complexity in time is that slow motion practice is impossible. Instead, practice must necessarily be to music played at normal speed. Furthermore, dancing with complexity in time tends to be "all or nothing": high skill level produces wonderful results, anything less than high skill level produces dismal results, with no easy way to bridge the gap between low and high skill levels. By contrast, there is no problem practicing non-shadow steps, which are used to create complexity in space, in slow motion, and it is possible to get acceptable results at a low skill level with non-shadow steps and then gradually improve results as skill level gradually improves.
Simplest way to add complexity in time is by varying step timing between quick and slow steps. For example, stepping on beats 1-2-3 and pausing on beat 4 gives a quick-quick-slow step pattern. Or pause on beat 3 to give a quick-slow-quick pattern. We can also vary the beat where we pause, such as pause on beat 4 in one measure and pause on beat 3 in the next measure, giving a step pattern of quick-quick-slow then quick-slow-quick.
For faster music, use half-beats as quick steps and full beats as slow steps. For example, stepping on beats 1-1.5-2-3-4 gives a quick-quick-slow-slow-slow step pattern. Or step on beats 1-1.5-2.5-4 for a step pattern of quick-slow-veryslow-slow. And so on. Mixing quick and slow steps works very well for dancing to swing music.
Another possibility is an odd number of evenly spaced steps instead of varied quick and slow steps, to create a polyrhythm between steps and underlying musical beat. Other than step 1, these evenly spaced steps will necessarily be off beat. Polyrhythm step timing is an excellent way to "soften" the feel of the dance, in cases where dancing strict tempo (on the beat) would feel overly "hard".
Replacing 3 quick-quick-slow steps with 3 evenly spaced medium-medium-medium steps creates a 3:4 polyrhythm between steps and musical beat. Replacing 5 quick-quick-slow-slow-slow steps with 5 evenly spaced steps creates a 5:4 polyrhythm between steps and musical beat. Polyrhythms can also extend over the 8 beat phrase. For example, 5:8, 7:8 and 9:8 polyrhythms are possible over the 8 beat phrase. 6:8 is also possible and is equivalent to polyrhythm 3:4 repeated. Similarly, 6:4 polyrhythm is equivalent to polyrhythm 3:2 repeated.
As an exercise, try dancing while switching between two polyrhythms, such as between 5:4 and 6:4 or between 5:8 and 6:8. If you have difficulty dancing higher polyrhythms like 7:8 and 9:8, try using the visual brain to count steps while the audio brain counts beats.
Some of the music we play has inherent rhythmic complexity, so that merely stepping on beat will create complexity in time, provided we step on the actual musical stresses and not the regular 1-2-3-4 beat pattern our mind synthesizes.
Tresillo is a common rhythm in all the music we play, with stresses on beats 1-2.5-4 of the musical measure. Tresillo is sometimes called 332 rhythm because those are the intervals between stresses as measured in half beats. For those who read music, tresillo is written as dotted quarter note, dotted quarter note, quarter note. As an exercise, try dancing while switching between quick-slow-quick on beats 1-2-4, 3:4 polyrhythm on beats 1-2.333-3.666, and tresillo on beats 1-2.5-4.
Milonga music is structured around rhythm with stress on beats 1-2.5-3-4 (sounds like "San Fran-cis-co" or, starting from beat 2.5, "Ca-fé con pan", with most milongas aligning measure boundaries with latter version). We can step directly on those 4 stresses, or sometimes step 5 times, by adding a step between 1 and 2.5 (sounds like "San uh Fran-cis-co" or "Ca-fé con pan uh"), or sometimes 3 steps, by only stepping on 1-2.5-4 (tresillo). For faster milongas, dance only 1-2.5 or 2.5-4, or vary between those two options and 1-2.5-4 option.
Most music that we categorize as "Salsa" is structured around son clave rhythm. 3-2 son clave has stress on beats 1-2.5-4 of first measure (tresillo) of two measure phrase and beats 2-3 of second measure. Tumbao is the deeper rhythm in salsa, with stress on beats 2-4-6-8. There are many ways to combine son clave and tumbao, such as dancing 5 steps on 1-2.5-4-6-8 in one phrase then 4 steps on 2.5-4-6-8 or 1-2.5-4-6 in the next phrase. Most salsa dancers dance a constant 6 steps per phrase on 2-3-4-6-7-8 (quick-quick-slow quick-quick-slow) or else 6:8 polyrhythm (starting on beat 2), but this step timimg can feel rushed and unmusical when dancing in close embrace. Constant 6 steps per phrase is necessary to allow linking together 6 step dance figures into complex sequences. Such linking would be difficult or impossible with an odd and especially with a varying number of steps per phrase. We are less interested in fancy figures (especially since those fancy figures require separated embrace) than in connection to music, which is why we encourage experimenting with more complex and slower step timings than constant 6 steps per phrase.
Another common rhythm in Latin music is rumba clave. 3-2 version of rumba clave has stresses on beats 1-2.5-4.5 of first measure and 2-3 of second measure. Rumba rhythm songs are usually, but not necessarily, played at a slow tempo.
Comparison of milonga, son clave, and rumba clave:
As an exercise, try dancing while clapping 1234 and switching between tresillo (claps 1-2.5-4), augmented (5 step) milonga (claps 1-2.5-4-5-7), son clave (claps 1-2.5-4-6-7) and rumba clave (claps 1-2.5-4.5-6-7).
Most generalized form of dancing with complexity in time is arbitrary adjustments to step timing, or what might be called rubato step timing. In music, playing with "tempo rubato" (Italian for "robbed time"), also referred to as "applying rubato", means taking ("robbing") time from one note and giving to another note. For example, a pianist might apply rubato by playing right hand notes slightly before or after left hand notes (which mark the beat). Likewise, dancers can apply rubato by stepping slightly before or after time when steps would normally occur. Rubato can be applied to all the irregular step timings discussed above. Rubato applied to polyrhythm step timing works especially well for dancing to tango and tango vals music.
Because many beginners lack sufficient musicality to dance with complexity in time, an alternative is complexity in space, using non-shadow steps.
We do not have time to teach non-shadow steps in this lesson, but we will demonstrate a few basic non-shadow steps: outside walking; cross; forward ocho; forward ocho cortado; revolving forward ocho; backward ochos; half-giro (half-turn). There are many other non-shadow steps, however the repertoire just listed is sufficient for social dancing. A small repertoire of perfectly performed steps is much better than a large repertoire of poorly performed steps.
Complexity in time is generally incompatible with complexity in space. This is because irregular step timing, irregular acceleration/deceleration, and irregular upper body movements, which are the techniques used to create complexity in time, tend to disrupt synchronization and throw the follower off-balance if those techniques are used while performing non-shadow steps. However, there is no problem alternating between dancing a few measures with complexity in time, followed by a few measures with complexity in space, and so on.
Dancing with complexity in space, using non-shadow steps, typically gives a worse connection to both music and partner than dancing with complexity in time, assuming skilled dancers in both cases. On the other hand, complexity in time might require too much musicality for beginners. Therefore we recommend beginners start with non-shadow steps and complexity in space. Then possibly replace complexity in space with complexity in time as musicality develops.
Because we do not have enough time in this lesson to teach non-shadow steps, both men and women need to take additional lessons with a professional dance teacher. We have a list of dance teachers available on our website, and we have two dance teachers here with us tonight, who will be giving a short demonstration dance at the end of this lesson. You can take these additional lessons as either individual instruction or same-sex small group lessons. Men almost always need more lessons than women.
For both men and women, be sure to tell the teacher you want to learn close embrace dancing, with square-shaped head position and light apilado. Most tango dance teachers teach separated embrace to beginner students.
For women, we recommend lessons with at least two different teachers, so you get a feel for different styles of leading. At least one teacher should be a man. Groups of 2 women students work very well. One student dances with the teacher while the other student watches.
For men, we recommend groups of 4 men students and 1 dance teacher. Students practice non-shadow steps with one another, then test leading the teacher while the other students watch. By practicing both leader and follower roles, men learn better what sort of lead is required for followers to follow properly. At least one lesson should be with a large man teacher, so men students can experience following a man who knows how to lead properly, and at least one lesson with a woman teacher.
Our first demonstration will consist of dancing to various types of music, using mostly shadow walking steps and complexity in time.
Our second demonstration will be by two of the dance teachers we recommend for additional lessons, using mostly non-shadow steps and complexity in space.
We will now begin same-sex practice. So men please line up on one side of the room and pick a partner, women do the same on the other side. We will switch roles every 3 minutes and then switch partners every 6 minutes. We will do same sex practice for 12 minutes, so that everyone leads and follows twice with two different partners.
Both leaders and followers assume the correct posture, approach one another and embrace. Followers should keep their hands elevated slightly, so they do not touch the leader and the only contact is between torsos, where leader's right arm presses against follower's back, and between sides of heads. Followers should also close their eyes to prevent following with the eyes. During dance parties, followers can optionally close their eyes, however it is usually considered better if they keep them open, so as to watch for collisions coming from the leader's rear or his right side blind spot.
Now that couples have embraced, leaders should shift their follower's weight to the closed side of the embrace (leader's right) and take a step to the left. Then rock back to the starting position. After mastering the change weight and side step, try a forward step, followed by rock back. Then try a diagonal forward step with pivot, followed by rock. This diagonal step with pivot allows the leader to glance to his rear. If there is free space to the rear, try a backwards step followed by rock to starting position. Now try several forwards steps in succession. Followers might be expecting more rocks, so when leaders switch to multiple forwards steps in succession, they should put some intention in their steps by pushing with mid-torso, so as to alert followers of the switch from repeated rocking.
Now continue practice dancing until we call to switch roles and or switch partners.
This concludes our lesson. Next 30 minutes is for practicing, with instructors available to answer questions. Instruction on the dance floor is allowed during this practice period. There are no assigned partners. So if you want to dance with some one, you have to invite them and they have to accept your invitation. This is a social event, and all dancing is by mutual consent. Because some of the regular dancers may arrive early, please try to obey rules of navigation and not interfere with their dancing during this practice period.
Practice dancing is now over and the dance party officially begins. Instruction on the dance floor is no longer allowed. Please follow the rules of dance floor navigation and try to avoid causing traffic jams.
Total of 24 playlists and approximately 2400 songs, organized into tandas of 1-4 songs each, with 60 second cortina (Spanish for "curtain") of non-dance music between tandas. Vals tandas assigned to 2 playlists (because shortage of Vals tandas), all other tandas assigned to 1 playlist. Tanda duration varies between 7 and 14 minutes, with average duration 10 minutes. Total playlist duration (including cortinas) at least 5.5 hours, so more than enough for 19:00-23:30 dance party. Playlists can be shortened by deleting tandas. Playlist for current dance party available on website.
Playlist organization:
Music in playlists available at YouTube, Spotify and other streaming services.